The Grief from Infant Death and Adoption Reaction
Death of a child
The Adoption Reaction to Grief
The distorting and refusal from the normal processing of life events to achieve mental health and well being. The psychological diversion to adopt a child to replace a dead baby, stillbirth, miscarriage and Infertility will bring the problems within the self full circle as the unstable attempt to replace their losses with human cargo. The mourning of loss is an emotional processing of unpleasant events related to loss and require large amounts of time, energy and focus on the series of events that led to the loss, the circumstances surrounding the loss and the focused reflection on the loss regarding the impact including what the loss means to the individual and how that loss impacts the individuals life.
Refusing the Mourning Process
The event of the death or loss of a child is the loss of the potential person who held all of the hope and dreams from the mother for that child's future. The death of a child is the death of the future, the death of a generation, the death of the family's lineage. The failed pregnancy may also mean the body rejected the imperfect, genetically flawed uterine tissue that had no human potential. As observed in the lab, embryo's without heads, spines and obvious to the human eye deformities that could never sustain the complexity of biological life.
Regardless of the circumstances, the death of a mother's child
is the worst of all human suffering. The loss of a child brings all of the world crashing down upon the mother who suffers this loss. This monumental mourning will grind to a halt a busy life to a complete stop.
The effects from a child's death are observed immediately, and can last months to years.
The irrational Reaction under stressful conditions or situations such as the death of a child and adoption in place of grief process. The avoid the psychological mourning processes which the brain and human emotion cycle demands in order to progress forward beyond the most distressing psychological injury known to humans is the loss of a mother's child.
The psychological injustice of the loss of a mother's child
Transfer of child mourning loss to the successful birth woman
Of the loss's injustice to place the pain of the injury upon another mother as the mourning mother takes the lucky mother's child away from her, so she can have the pain and loss instead. The mourning mother can avoid the mourning process altogether, making the mourning mother temporarily satisfied as
she gave away, and transferred the emotional pain onto another. A person less deserving of being a mother, a despicable, slutty, easy and morally bankrupt women is justified by the adoptive mother and assigned to a much more deserving person to go through this crippling mourning pain of a child lost.
The adoptive mother's Justified punishment of the successful biological mother for sexual indiscretions and lack of social morals. Now the adoptive mother can take her child and forget the whole process of mourning, as the adoptive mother gave the pain to someone more deserving of punishment, the immoral birth mother.
The distortion of reasoning of the adoptive mother disturbing psychological transference may provide the adoptive mother with temporary relief from her ignored process of mourning.
Trading Sadness for Anger
Yet the adoptive mother's mourning process remains under the surface, ignored and lurking. The suppression of the mourning process of sadness, is psychologically transferred into and with all of the suppressed memories that she will not act on or allow herself to feel. Not allowing yourself to feel pain is a learned skill and pattern of psychological dysfunction carefully concealed by an expert in keeping appearances and careful conduct to avoid suspicion from the public, church, friends and peer groups. The expert in keeping up appearances refuses to allow the public to know what is true and lurking below the surface of the cordial and public smile. On the inside is a storage of shame, humiliation and rage being held in by a dam of iron will, waiting to be defended by her dysfunctional reasoning. Narcissistic personality traits grow and flourish in this self created artificial environment.
Instead of sadness she chooses and will feel anger, injustice and rage. All of these suppressed emotions from her entire life have morphed into a collective dysfunction that all outside her are potential threats to her secrets that will be taken quietly to the grave. All perceived are potential threats are threats to her normal perception of functioning
to be triggered by anger. Anger is the adoptive mother's psychological alliance against mourning. The rage below the surface is ready to erupt and easily provoked.
Psychology of Grief
- Shock and Denial
- Intense Concern
- Despair and Depression
Death of a child
Feelings of guilt, whether legitimate or not, are pervasive, and the dependent nature of the relationship disposes parents to a variety of problems as they seek to cope with this great loss. Parents who suffer miscarriage or a regretful or coerced abortion may experience resentment towards others who experience successful pregnancies.