About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

The Grief of Infant Death and Adoption Reaction

ADOPTEE RAGE!

The Grief from Infant Death and Adoption Reaction
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Death of a child  

Link:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grief

Death of a child can take the form of a loss in infancy such as miscarriage or stillbirth or neonatal death, SIDs or the death of an older child. In most cases, parents find the grief almost unbearably devastating, and it tends to hold greater risk factors than any other loss. This loss also bears a lifelong process: one does not get 'over' the death but instead must assimilate and live with it. Intervention and comforting support can make all the difference to the survival of a parent in this type of grief but the risk factors are great and may include family breakup or suicide.Feelings of guilt, whether legitimate or not, are pervasive, and the dependent nature of the relationship disposes parents to a variety of problems as they seek to cope with this great loss. Parents who suffer miscarriage or a regretful or coerced abortion may experience resentment towards others who experience successful pregnancies. Because of the intensity of grief emotions, irrational decisions are often made including adoption.(Con't below)
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The Adoption Reaction to Grief

The distorting and refusal from the normal processing of life events to achieve mental health and well being.                    The psychological diversion to adopt a child to replace a dead baby, stillbirth, miscarriage and Infertility will bring the problems within the self full circle as the unstable attempt to replace their losses with human cargo. The mourning of loss is an emotional processing of unpleasant events related to loss and require large amounts of time, energy and focus on the series of events that led to the loss, the circumstances surrounding the loss and the focused reflection on the loss regarding the impact including what the loss means to the individual and how that loss impacts the individuals life.
Refusing the Mourning Process
The event of the death or loss of a child is the loss of the potential person who held all of the hope and dreams from the mother for that child's future. The death of a child is the death of the future, the death of a generation, the death of the family's lineage. The failed pregnancy may also mean the body rejected the imperfect, genetically flawed uterine tissue that had no human potential. As observed in the lab, embryo's without heads, spines and obvious to the human eye deformities that could never sustain the complexity of biological life.
Regardless of the circumstances, the death of a mother's child
is the worst of all human suffering. The loss of a child brings all of the world crashing down upon the mother who suffers this loss. This monumental mourning will grind to a halt a busy life to a complete stop.
The effects from a child's death are observed immediately, and can last months to years.
The irrational Reaction under stressful conditions or situations such as the death of a child and adoption in place of grief process. The avoid the psychological mourning processes which the brain and human emotion cycle demands in order to progress forward beyond the most distressing psychological injury known to humans is the loss of a mother's child.
The psychological injustice of the loss of a mother's child

Transfer of child mourning loss to the successful birth woman
Of the loss's injustice to place the pain of the injury upon another mother as the mourning mother takes the lucky mother's child away from her, so she can have the pain and loss instead. The mourning mother can avoid the mourning process altogether, making the mourning mother temporarily satisfied as
she gave away, and transferred the emotional pain onto another. A person less deserving of being a mother, a despicable, slutty, easy and morally bankrupt women is justified by the adoptive mother and assigned to a much more deserving person to go through this crippling mourning pain of a child lost.

The adoptive mother's Justified punishment of the successful biological mother for sexual indiscretions and lack of social morals. Now the adoptive mother can take her child and forget the whole process of mourning, as the adoptive mother gave the pain to someone more deserving of punishment, the immoral birth mother.

The distortion of reasoning of the adoptive mother disturbing psychological transference may provide the adoptive mother with temporary relief from her ignored process of mourning.

Trading Sadness for Anger
Yet the adoptive mother's mourning process remains under the surface, ignored and lurking. The suppression of the mourning process of sadness, is psychologically transferred into and with all of the suppressed memories that she will not act on or allow herself to feel. Not allowing yourself to feel pain is a learned skill and pattern of psychological dysfunction carefully concealed by an expert in keeping appearances and careful conduct to avoid suspicion from the public, church, friends and peer groups. The expert in keeping up appearances refuses to allow the public to know what is true and lurking below the surface of the cordial and public smile. On the inside is a storage of shame, humiliation and rage being held in by a dam of iron will, waiting to be defended by her dysfunctional reasoning. Narcissistic personality traits grow and flourish in this self created artificial environment.
 Instead of sadness she chooses and will feel anger, injustice and rage. All of these suppressed emotions from her entire life have morphed into a collective dysfunction that all outside her are potential threats to her secrets that will be taken quietly to the grave. All perceived are potential threats are threats to her normal perception of functioning
 to be triggered by anger. Anger is the adoptive mother's psychological alliance against mourning. The rage below the surface is ready to erupt and easily provoked.
   
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Psychology of Grief

Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, spiritual, and philosophical dimensions. While the terms are often used interchangeably, bereavement refers to the state of loss, and grief is the reaction to loss.
Grief is a natural response to loss. It is the emotional suffering one feels when something or someone the individual loves is taken away. Grief is also a reaction to any loss. The grief associated with death is familiar to most people, but individuals grieve in connection with a variety of losses throughout their lives, such as unemployment, ill health or the end of a relationship. Loss can be categorized as either physical or abstract, the physical loss being related to something that the individual can touch or measure, such as losing a spouse through death, while other types of loss are abstract, and relate to aspects of a person’s social interactions.

Grieving process

Every step of the process is natural and healthy. It is only when a person gets stuck in one step for a long period of time that the grieving can become unhealthy, destructive and even dangerous. Going through the grieving process is not the same for everyone, but everyone does have a common goal; acceptance of the loss and to keep moving forward. This process is different for every person but can be understood in four or more stages, depending upon the theory that is being used. In the four step model there are:
Shock and Denial
Shock is the initial reaction to loss. Shock is the person’s emotional protection from being too suddenly overwhelmed by the loss. The person may not yet be willing or able to believe what their mind knows to be true. This stage normally lasts two or three months.
Intense Concern
Intense concern often manifests by being unable to think of anything else. Even during daily tasks, thoughts of the loss keep coming to mind. Conversations with one at this stage always turn to the loss as well. This period may last from six months to a year.

Despair and Depression
Despair and depression is a long period of grief, the most painful and protracted stage for the griever (during which the person gradually comes to terms with the reality of the loss). The process typically involves a wide range of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Many behaviors may be irrational. Depression can include feelings of anger, guilt, sadness and anxiety.
Recovery
The goal of grieving is not the elimination of all the pain or the memories of the loss. In this stage, one shows a new interest in daily activities and begins to function normally day to day. The goal is to reorganize one’s life, so the loss is an important part of life rather than its center

Death of a child

Death of a child can take the form of a loss in infancy such as miscarriage or stillbirth or neonatal death, SIDs or the death of an older child. In most cases, parents find the grief almost unbearably devastating, and it tends to hold greater risk factors than any other loss. This loss also bears a lifelong process: one does not get 'over' the death but instead must assimilate and live with it.
Intervention and comforting support can make all the difference to the survival of a parent in this type of grief but the risk factors are great and may include family breakup or suicide.
Feelings of guilt, whether legitimate or not, are pervasive, and the dependent nature of the relationship disposes parents to a variety of problems as they seek to cope with this great loss. Parents who suffer miscarriage or a regretful or coerced abortion may experience resentment towards others who experience successful pregnancies.
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 Because of the intensity of grief emotions, irrational decisions are often made and include adopting children as a diversion or quick fix.