About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Friday, January 31, 2014

The Adopted Adult-Child's Suicide Would Make Parent's Life Easier

 The Adopted Adult-Child's Suicide Would Make Parent's Life Easier.

Adoptive Parent's Seeking the World's Advice on the Web....
Why is my adopted child now an adult so messed up. We gave the child every opportunity and advantage in the world. But this mindset of financial stability as a benefit far better than a child's bond with his own biological parents is not a good enough reason to sever the maternal bond between biological mother-child. To sever and destroy the maternal bond will and does ruin the psychological building blocks of normal child development.
The dirty deed is created for the individual's selfish pursuit of an infertile woman's happiness.
But as we continue to read the public posts from desperate adoptive parents who are loosing money, vacations and peace of mind over their problem adopted child that was supposed to provide them the happiness they expected.
The adoptive parents who continue to map out the lifelong problems of adoptive children and adult adoptees. The parents never consider their own contributions to the dysfunctional adulthood of the adopted child. The adoptive parents refusal to
be accountable for their own responsibility to the adopted child during the formative stages of childhood; When the child learned the psychological dysfunctions present in adulthood from the parenting skills of the adoptive parents. The blame of the adopted child's genetics, biological parent behaviors, and the environment prior to the adoption all scapegoating blame when the obvious truth is the adoptive parents are responsible. Bad parenting is to blame for the psychological dysfunction in adopted children. The selfish adopter will eventually pay for the arrogant need to own another human being.

Disturbing Adoptive Parent Complains, Tears her apart, humiliates the adoptee listing only bad behaviors,
By reading the following we get a picture of negative parenting:

I need some advice on dealing with my 24 year-old daughter who has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. 
She has had rages, crying fits, numerous bad relationships, etc. for years. 
She is manipulative. 
She didn't finish school, she can't keep a job, sooner or later everyone disappoints her or is somehow bad to her. 
There have been several suicide threats and gestures. 

Thankfully she doesn't live with us, but about 40 miles away. 

We support her, though we don't send her a lot of money, as we hope she will be encouraged to work. 
Still, it seems as though every time she comes to visit, it always ends in crying and rages. 

Seems as though we were just never good enough as parents. 

For what it is worth, we adopted her as an infant. 

She takes anti depressants (at least until she decides she doesn't need them, so she goes off until a life crisis forces her back on them).

She has been to counselors since she was in elementary school 

(she was difficult even then). 
She seldom stays in therapy for long. 

With our other children 
(who have been quite successful) out of the nest, 

my husband and I would like to enjoy some time together to travel, etc. 

(I can't tell you how many vacations she has wrecked by having some sort of crisis that necessitated our coming home early.) 

I realize that makes us co-dependents, but can we simply abandon a mentally ill child, even if she is grown? 

If she committed suicide, it would be so hard to live with. 

But neither do I want to spend the rest of our lives with her bouncing back repeatedly with her problems. 

I don't mean to sound heartless, but I am just tired. 

It helped just to sound off here, but if you have some advice, I could sure use some.

Why do people inject apologies for being honest?
This hateful rant without a single word of anything she did right,
says to me that the mother is a dominating controller who owned this child and created the psychological dysfunction in the adopted child all by herself. This adoptive mother obviously treated the adoptive child differently than the other perfect offspring. The effects of the mother grow over time into major crisis in adult life for the abused and neglected adult adoptee.