About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Devaluation and Idealization Behavior of Adopted Parents

Adoptive Parents with Narcissistic Behavior Engage in Idealization and Devaluation of the Adoptive Child

In psychoanalytic theory, when an individual is unable to integrate difficult feelings, specific defenses are mobilized to overcome what the individual perceives as an unbearable situation. The defense that helps in this process is called splitting. Splitting is the tendency to view events or people as either all bad or all good. When viewing people as all good, the individual is said to be using the defense mechanism of idealization: a mental mechanism in which the person attributes exaggerated positive qualities to the self or others. When viewing people as all bad, the individual employs devaluation: attributing exaggeratedly negative qualities to the self or others.
In child development, idealization and devaluation are quite normal. During the childhood development stage, individuals become capable of perceiving others as complex structures, containing both good and bad components. If the development stage is interrupted (by early childhood trauma, for example), these defense mechanisms may persist into adulthood.
The term idealization first appeared in connection with Freud's definition of narcissism. Freud’s vision was that all human infants pass through a phase of primary narcissism in which they assume they are the center of their universe. In adopted children this phase does not manifest as the newborn child is removed from the child's mother, the only path to the temporary, normal and healthy phase of primary narcissism. Instead the adopted child is damaged due to the adoption based removal from the biological mother causing the primal wound to the child's ego that will haunt and reflect in the child throughout his new life of difference.
In mentally healthy children attempting to achieve primary narcissistic supply from the parents, in attempts to obtain the parents' love the child comes to do what he thinks the parents value. In Internalizing these values the child forms an ego ideal. This ego ideal contains rules for good behavior and standards of excellence toward which the ego has to strive. When the child cannot bear ambivalence (simultaneous attraction toward and repulsion from the parent)  between the real self and the ego ideal and defenses are used too often, it is called pathologic. Freud called this situation secondary narcissism, because the ego itself is idealized. Explanations of the idealization of others besides the self are sought in drive theory as well as in object-relation theory. From the viewpoint of libidinal drives, idealization of other people is a "flowing-over" of narcissistic libido onto the object; from the viewpoint of self-object relations, the object representations (like that of the caregivers) were made more beautiful than they really were.