About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Basic Anxiety Caused By Adoptive Parentin

ADOPTEE RAGE!   Basic Anxiety Caused By Adoptive Parenting


Basic anxiety is a term used by psychoanalytic theorist Karen Horney.              She developed one of the best known theories of neurosis. The neurosis is cultivated in the first six years of life through interaction with primary caregivers that discount the value of the child, therefore treatment of the child is regarded as secondary of importance and the needs of the child are not imperative. The lack of stimulation, attention and interaction of adopted children is primarily due to the societal perception that the adopted child is flawed therefore a valid reason for the child to be rejected by it's biological parent and given up to adoption. The child's
 neurosis seen primarily in adolescence is resulted from basic anxiety caused by adoptive Parenting. The theory proposes that strategies used to cope with anxiety can be overused, causing them to take on the appearance of needs. According to Horney, basic anxiety (and therefore neurosis) could result from a variety of adoptive parental behaviors including, "...direct or indirect domination, indifference, erratic behavior, lack of respect for the child's individual needs, lack of attention, lack of real guidance, disparaging attitudes, too much admiration or the absence of it, lack of reliable warmth, having to take sides in parental disagreements, too much or too little responsibility, over-protection, isolation from other children, injustice, discrimination, un-kept promises, hostile atmosphere, and favoring the biological children in the abusive adoptive home.
Basic anxiety is the feeling of being helpless, small and insignificant in a world that is out to abuse and attack and control. In parental hostile behavior that basic hostility may lead to a child's basic anxiety underlying the child's primary personality.

 A child develops personality in the early childhood years, and that personality continues to change throughout life.
Focused on how the growing child is treated or mistreated by parents, caregivers and adoptive parents. The child's normal developmental stages are distorted by the parent failure to act, by the parent's angry reaction and psychological maltreatment cause the adopted child to fear the parent. The fact that a child will develop negative tendencies of personality by stressful home environments, and these tendencies were the direct result of poor parental behaviors. Nothing in a child's development progresses in a universal manner; everything is depended on parent's social, cultural, and home environmental factors.

How people deal with basic anxiety

The 10 neurotic needs, including affection, achievement and self sufficiency.     The neurotic needs grouped into three trends. 

Moving away from people

The detached personality One who needs to move away from people, expressing needs for independence, perfection and withdrawal. Moving away from people is characterized by people who behave in a detached manner. These are people who adopt a neurotic trend of purposely being wanting or are intentionally left out.

Moving toward people

The compliant personality: One who needs to move toward other people, expressing needs for approval, affection and a dominant partner to be controlled by.

Moving against people

The aggressive personality:  One who needs to move against people, expressing needs for power, exploitation, prestige, admiration, and achievement. This person trusts no one. They think all people are out to get them and hostile. They believe that people are not good. These people are generally bullies. They are characterized by being very tough, and are motivated by a strong need to exploit others.
Accepting one’s own feelings of vulnerability and dependence demonstrates the act of movement toward people. Moving toward people is the only way a person can feel secure. Movement away from people involves withdrawing, behaving so as to appear self-sufficient and avoid dependency. Movement against people involves hostility, rebellion, and aggression. Behaving in a way that exemplifies these traits is not a healthy way to deal with anxiety. Once we establish a behavioral strategy for coping with basic anxiety, this pattern ceases to be flexible enough to permit alternative behaviors.
Although there are a considerable amount of negative impulses for basic anxiety there are also normal impulses which are positive responses to basic anxiety.

Normal Defenses

  • Moving toward people in a friendly, loving way. Seeking attachment.
    • Examples—finding spouse, supporting family, being a part of a team
  • Moving Against People in a competitive non-harmful way. (Darwinism)
    • Example—trying to be the best at work
  • Moving Away from People by being independent and self-sufficient. (autonomy)

10 Neurotic Needs

To Horney, then, basic anxiety arises from the parent-child relationship. When this socially produced anxiety becomes evident, the child develops behavior strategies in response to parental behavior as a way of coping with the accompanying feelings of helplessness and insecurity. If any one of the child's behavioral strategies becomes a fixed part of the personality, it is called a neurotic need, which is away of defending against the anxiety.
  1. The Neurotic Need for Affection and Approval
    1. This need includes the longings to be liked. People demonstrating this need try to appease others and work hard to meet the expectations of others. This type of need is exceedingly sensitive to rejection. This need does not deal with anger of others or criticism very well.
  2. The Neurotic Need for a Partner Who Will Take Over One’s Life
    1. This need is fairly self-explanatory. This need can overtake one’s relationships because they have a fear of being abandoned. It can be detrimental to a relationship because individuals place an extravagant significance on love and believe that having a partner will resolve all of life’s troubles.
  3. The Neurotic Need to Restrict One’s Life Within Narrow Borders.
  4. Individuals demonstrating this need are very introverted. They want to go through life unnoticed. They need little and demand little. A person exemplifying this need thinks little of their own talents and does not wish for greater things.
  1. The Neurotic Need for Power
    1. Individuals with this need are power hungry. They usually seek to gain strength and have no problem getting it at the cost of others. These individuals are not sympathetic towards weakness and they do not understand personal limitations or helplessness. This person likes to be in control.
  2. The Neurotic Need to Exploit Others
    1. These individuals use others for their own benefit and gain. They pride themselves in their ability to manipulate others in order to obtain desired objectives. Desired objectives of this neurotic need include such things as power, money, or sex.
  3. The Neurotic Need for Prestige
    1. Individuals with a need for prestige are constantly seeking of public recognition and acclaim. These individuals often fear public embarrassment and loss of social status. They evaluate their prestige by material possessions and professional accomplishments.
  4. The Neurotic Need for Personal Admiration
    1. Individuals with a neurotic need for personal admiration are have an exaggerated self-perception and are narcissistic. They are constantly seeking admiration based on the image of self-view.
  5. The Neurotic Need for Personal Achievement
    1. According to Horney, people push themselves to achieve greater and greater things as a result of basic insecurity. Individuals with a neurotic need for personal achievement feel a constant need to accomplish more than other people. They are also in competition with themselves.
  6. The Neurotic Need for Self-Sufficiency and Independence
    1. Individuals with this neurotic need distance themselves from others. They have a fear of being tied down or dependent upon another person. People with this exhibit a "loner" mentality.
  7. The Neurotic Need for Perfection and Unassailability
    1. Individuals with this neurotic need are obsessed with perfection. They find flaws within themselves and quickly try to fix them as to appear perfect to others.
Karen Horney found one of the best known theories of neurosis. Basic anxiety would not be a classified disorder if it wasn't for Karen Horney. When a fixed behavior proves inappropriate for a particular situation, we are unable to change in response to the demands of the situation. These entrenched behaviors intensify our difficulties because they affect the total personality, our relations with other people, with ourselves, and with life as a whole.