About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Attempts to Understand the Narcissistic Adoptive Parent

Attempts to Understanding the Narcissistic Adoptive Parent

The adult adoptee who is searching for the unknown cause
of their distortion, we must look to the beginning of life and the first six to ten years that created our present day circumstances. What we were subjected to from birth to around six years constitutes who we are now. The child's growing awareness through cognitive abilities that the child begins to comprehend, compare and manipulate his environment. With the child's exposure to preschool, playgrounds and interaction with people outside of the family circle, the child begins to notice how other parents and teachers treat children, themselves and the interaction with normal outside children give the adopted child a glimpse of how the world works and regards others with respect. The child now realizes that the home is quite different environment than the welcoming, safe and friendly place that is school. The total understanding of the difference between dysfunctional home and functional environment becomes difficult for most adults living in denial of the magnitude maladjustment
of which they live.
The adopted child must formulate a vast understanding of the severity of maladjustment and the conditional life lived by the adopted childhood through adult adoptee.

The Narcissistic Adoptive Parent

The specific form of the emotional abuse of adopted children by "narcissistic adoptive parents". Parents who do not value, nurture and support the child's independence and individuality, and require the child to give up their own identity, independence, desires, wants and feelings in order to forever serve the parent's wants, desires and needs for esteem, constitutes narcissistic abuse. 
The term has also come to be used more widely to refer to common forms of child abuse in adoptive and step parent relationships on the part of the narcissist.
In clinical psychology and psychiatry, an unrealistic, exaggerated, or rigidly held sense of entitlement may be considered a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder, seen in those who "because of early frustrations...arrogate to themselves the right to demand lifelong reimbursement from fate."

In American culture citizens consider adopting children a legal Right.
In American culture an entitlement is a guarantee of access to something, such as to adopted children based on established guidelines of proper citizenship. A "legal right" is itself an entitlement associated with a social principal, such that an "entitlement" is a provision made in accordance with a legal framework of a society. A human right, being a condition of existence, is not a legal right conferred by law and is not an entitlement.
'a mother can make a lifelong nurse, in fact a substitute mother, out of the adopted child by bewailing her suffering, totally disregarding the interests of the child'. Within such distorted patterns of parent/child interaction, 'Ferenczi believed the silence, lies, and hypocrisy of the caregivers were the most traumatic aspects of the abuse' - ultimately producing what he called narcissistic mortification.

Narcissistic mortification is "the primitive terror of self dissolution, triggered by the sudden exposure of one's sense of a defective self [...] it is death by embarrassment Narcissistic mortification is a term first used by Sigmund Freud in his last book, Moses and Monotheism with respect to early injuries to the ego/self by adoption, loss and replacement of the biological mother. The concept has been widely employed in ego psychology and also contributed to the roots of self psychology.
When narcissistic mortification is experienced for the first time, it may be defined as a sudden loss of control over external or internal reality, or both. This produces strong emotions of terror while at the same time narcissistic libido (also known as ego-libido) or destrudo is built up. Narcissistic libido or ego-libido is the concentration of libido on the self. Destrudo is the opposite of libido and is the impulse to destroy oneself and everything associated with him or her.