Books By Alice Miller Explaining Parental Cruelty
The short explanation of parental behaviors explained by Miller.
The Drama of the Gifted Child (Das Drama des begabten Kindes, 1979)
- There was a mother who at the core was emotionally insecure, and who depended for her narcississtic equilibrium on the child behaving, or acting, in a particular way. This mother was able to hide her insecurity from the child and from everyone else behind a hard, authoritarian and even totalitarian facade.
- This child had an amazing ability to perceive and respond intuitively, that is, unconsciously, to this need of the mother or of both parents, for him to take on the role that had unconsciously been assigned to him.
- This role secured "love" for the child--that is, his parents narcissistic cathexis. He could sense that he was needed and theis, he felt, guaranteed him a measure of existential security.
For Your Own Good (Am Anfang war Erziehung, 1980)
Thou Shalt Not Be Aware (Du sollst nicht merken, 1981)
The Untouched Key (Der gemiedene Schlüssel, 1988)
Banished Knowledge (Das verbannte Wissen, 1988)
Breaking Down the Wall of Silence (Abbruch der Schweigemauer, 1990)
|“||I betrayed that little girl [...]. Only in recent years, with the help of therapy, which enabled me to lift the veil on this repression bit by bit, could I allow myself to experience the pain and desperation, the powerlessness and justified fury of that abused child. Only then did the dimensions of this crime against the child I once was, become clear to me.||”|