About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Verbal Abuse of Adopted Children

ADOPTEE RAGE!            Verbal Abuse of Adopted Children

Verbal abuse of adopted children (also known as reviling) is described as a negative defining statement told to the child or about the child, or by withholding any response, thereby defining the target (child) as non-existent. If the parent abuser does not immediately apologize and retract the defining statement, (you are different from my real children) the relationship may be a verbally abusive one.
In schools a young person may indulge in verbal abuse — bullying (which often has a physical component) to gain status as superior to the person targeted and to bond with others against the target. Generally the bully knows no other way to connect emotionally, i.e., be bonded with others.
In family relationships, the verbal abuser responds to the child's "separateness," i.e., independent thoughts, views, desires, feelings, expressions (even of happiness) as an irritant or even an attack. While some people believe the abuser has low self esteem and so attempts to place their victim in a similar position, i.e., To believe negative things about himself or herself, is usually the case in family relationships. A father may, for example, disparage the mother simply because she has qualities that were disparaged in him, i.e., emotional intelligence, warmth, receptivity and so forth. The father's continued verbal punishment of the wife for bringing a stranger into the family, or verbal attacks on the adopted child.
A person of any gender, race, culture, sexual orientation, age, or size may experience verbal abuse. Typically, in couple or family relationships verbal abuse increases in intensity and frequency over time. After exposure to verbal abuse, victims may develop clinical depression and/or post traumatic stress disorder. The person targeted by verbal abuse over time may succumb to any stress related illness. Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish in its target.
Despite being the most common form of abuse, verbal abuse is generally not taken as seriously as other types because there is no visible proof, and the abuser may have a "perfect" persona around others. In reality, however, verbal abuse can be more detrimental to a person's health than physical abuse If a person is verbally abused from childhood on, the adopted child may develop psychological disorders that plague them into and throughout adulthood.
Verbal abuse includes the following:
  • countering
  • withholding
  • discounting
  • abuse disguised as a joke
  • blocking and diverting
  • accusing and blaming
  • judging and criticizing
  • trivializing
  • undermining
  • threatening
  • name calling
  • chronic forgetting
  • ordering
  • denial of anger or abuse
  • abusive anger