The Shaming Of Adoptive Children to Assert Control
The narcissistic mothers preference for humiliation over physical abuse regarding her excellence in parenting skills. The punishment served with humiliation will last longer than a bruise
and she need not exert herself physically in the daily routine of rendering the punishment process. The simple threat to the child of being publicly shamed and humiliated again reduces the offending adopted child to tears with instant surrender.
Shame is an Inherent disposition in the plight of adopted children, especially with constant reminders of the child's illegitimate birth, adoption and being "Chosen" by the adoptive mother.
Shame is employed as a primary tool used to punish, control and dominate the child by the adoptive parent.
The adoptive mother takes advantage of this psychological flaw in the psyche of adopted child, and utilizes it against him. The narcissistic adoptive mother regularly cultivates the child's flaw into a gut wrenching open, infected and oozing wound that will never scar and close up.
The unfair advantage of dominate a young child by using the fact that brought the child to adoption is not only cruel, it will morph his brain in many unhealthy ways rendering his mental health into a psychotic, dependent and hopeless mess of an individual. The effects of consistent humiliation and shame will last throughout his life and cause irreversible damage. Because
the child believes his mothers words, he regards himself as a damaged person. The lack of self esteem due to the child's flawed nature will lead his peers to pick on him and ostracize him from other children. The child is groomed into an outcast at home, treated badly at school and become the outcast of his community.
Many adopted children are raised by narcissistic mothers.,
The variables in levels of maltreatment and abuse depend on:
1. Biological children in the home, birth order, adoption.
2. The adoptive parent's age & Parent's childhood treatment.
3. Adoptive parent's alcoholism, substance abuses, gambling.
4. Class of family finances.
5. Family's religious affiliation
Some all too familiar shaming tactics of adoptive mothers:
- Shaming: The adoptive mother is the Manipulator, who uses Sarcasm and put-downs to increase fear and self-doubt in the adopted child.
- The manipulating tactics make the adoptive child feel unworthy and therefore controlled, yielding and surrendered to adoptive mother.
- Shaming tactics can be very subtle such as a fierce look, scowls, glare, or glance. Unpleasant and feared tone of voice, rhetorical comments, subtle sarcasm by the adoptive mother evoke more serious response than words.
- Manipulating Mothers can make the child feel ashamed for even daring to challenge them or not giving the mother her expected response. Narcissist adoptive mothers manipulate children in effective ways to cultivate the sense of inadequacy, insufficiency, incompetence and ultimately failure of humanness in the adopted child.
- Playing the victim role: The Manipulating mother portrays herself as a victim of other persons circumstance and victim of someone else's behavior in order to gain attention, pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something she wants. Normal caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on the sympathy of others to get cooperation.