Adoptee Rage! This blog is written exclusively for the 38% of Abused and Neglected Adopted Children. The U.S. HHSA Identifies #1 Risk: Maltreatment, Child Abuse and Risk for Death In Adopted children. Childhood domination, Coping compensation. Research in Adoption Psychology, Developmental Trauma"The Adoption Paradox". By Rainstorm Red-Smith
About Adoptee Rage
Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.
It is a normal reaction that 'when threatened by external events or negative feedback, victims must defend their sense of who and what they are".,
When adopted children are "discounted" by their adoptive parents, they can't defend they're sense of "who they are" as the young adopted child becomes confused by the inconsistent and changing demands of the adoptive parents.The inconsistent adoptive parent also becomes confused and challenged to retain control and dominance over the adoptive child's growing intelligence and awareness of his autonomy.
("who they are" due to the fact the adopted child's "New submissive personality" is being presently perceived to behave a certain way. Trained, coached and brainwashed by the adoptive parent to behave in an acceptable manner to the adoptive parent's authority and the adopted child's difficulty in the suppression of the natural personality urges to act that end in the child's assault and punishment)
The assertion of "Who they are" in defending one's self for adopted children with forced personality changes to the submissive personality are not allowed to defend themselves verbally or physically. The defending of the self is seen as an act of defiance and a challenge to the adoptive parent's dominating control initiating an expected reflex response of verbal or physical violence.
In defending the self, one strategy is 'redefinition of an event's importance...[to] downplay importance' of the event.
One of the problems of depression is that a reverse tendency appears: 'when we are depressed, we often discount the small positive things we do...discounting or dismissing praise'.
In extreme cases of manic depressive adoptive parents, 'these individuals discount external reality at a high level, to manifest their own actuality which is not living a true or real existence. In void of factual awareness the adoptive parent can facilitate the discounting of the accomplishments or good behavior in adopted children to avoid guilt, ridicule or negative responses from outsiders.
Transactional analysis: discounting
Post-Bernian transactionalanalysis explored the role played by discounting in
maintaining dependency relationships:
'the discounting of the child by the parent figure, initially by the adoptive parent and later by the child's internalized parent.
When one person discounts another, he acts as if what he feels is more important than what the other person feels, says or does'.
What came to be called 'the "hierarchy of discounts" existence, significance, change possibilities and personal activities was evolved, the highest automatically including those below: 'a discount of the existence of problems is equivalent to discounting the significance'.
Idealization and devaluation
In psychoanalytic theory, when an individual is unable to integrate difficult feelings, specific defenses are mobilized to overcome what the individual perceives as an unbearable situation. The defense that helps in this process is called splitting. Splitting is the tendency to view events or people as either all bad or all good. When viewing people as all good, the individual is said to be using the defense mechanismidealization: a mental mechanism in which the person attributes exaggeratedly positive qualities to the self or others. When viewing people as all bad, the individual employsdevaluation: attributing exaggeratedly negative qualities to the self or others.
In child development, idealization and devaluation are quite normal. During the childhood development stage, individuals become capable of perceiving others as complex structures, containing both good and bad components. If the development stage is interrupted (by early childhood trauma, for example), these defense mechanisms may persist into adulthood.
The term idealization first appeared in connection with Freud’s definition of narcissism. Freud’s vision was that all human infants pass through a phase of primary narcissism in which they assume they are the centre of their universe. To obtain the parents' love the child comes to do what he thinks the parents value. Internalising these values the child forms an ego ideal This ego ideal contains rules for good behavior and standards of excellence toward which the ego has to strive. When the child cannot bear ambivalence between the real self and the ego ideal and defenses are used too often, it is called pathologic. Freud called this situation secondary narcissism, because the ego itself is idealized. Explanations of the idealization of others besides the self are sought in drive theory as well as in object-relation theory. From the viewpoint of libidinal drives, idealization of other people is a "flowing-over" of narcissistic libido onto the object; from the viewpoint of self-object relations, the object representations (like that of the caregivers) were made more beautiful than they really were.
An extension of Freud’s theory of narcissism came when Heinz Kohut presented the so-called "self-object transferences" of idealization and mirroring. To Kohut, idealization in childhood is a healthy mechanism. If the parents fail to provide appropriate opportunities for idealization (healthy narcissism) and mirroring (how to cope with reality), the child does not develop beyond a developmental stage in which he sees himself as grandiose but in which he also remains dependent on others to provide his self-esteem. Kohut stated that, with narcissistic patients, idealization of the self and the therapist should be allowed during therapy and then very gradually will diminish as a result of unavoidable optimal frustration.
Otto Kernberg has provided an extensive discussion of idealization, both in its defensive and adaptive aspects. He conceptualised idealization as involving a denial of unwanted characteristics of an object, then enhancing the object by projecting one’s own libido or omnipotence on it. He proposed a developmental line with one end of the continuum being a normal form of idealization and the other end a pathological form. In the latter, the individual has a problem with object constancy and sees others as all good or all bad, thus bolstering idealization and devaluation. At this stage idealization is associated with borderline pathology. At the other end of the continuum, idealization is said to be a necessary precursor for feelings of mature love.