Insights From The Estranged Adult Child
In researching Adult Estrangement, so many of the blogs have
the same theme of the "Innocent Parent" picking apart every
family member whom is estranged from them, and wonders why? Go Figure!
If you are cut off from someone, there is a serious problem & reason. Do not always expect that you are the innocent one.
REMEMBER Every relationship has two people, each making up 50% of the relationship.
The People searching the topic words "estrangement"
means they are searching for answers about why or what has happen. People who are searching for answers should be open to the possibilities of what could be wrong of there own conduct.
The honesty of looking at what went wrong is answered by taking a real truthful look at yourself. That is where the answer lies.
To be banished......Means the person does not want you in their life. To know about your life, and they do not want you to have an opinion, presence
or notice in their life.
To Accept the banishment....Is the adult thing to do. Grieve and
Leave in silence as to not make more a fool of yourself.Leave quietly dignified.Stay Gone.
There is no miss-communication, you blew it.
Give yourself time to come to terms with this.
This is a serious blow to the ego, a heart brake, and it hurts terribly to be broken from someone you love, and is true suffering to grieve silently by yourself.
BIG MISTAKES TO MAKE IT WORSE!
DO NOT Call in to radio shows and give half the story.
DO NOT Go On Online Forums and sing your tale of Woah!
The Online forums I have looked at seems to be for the
airing of your dirty laundry, Telling your life story about
the lazy, arrogant and stupid adult children who have
banished you because you can't keep your big mouth
shut about your interference, control and domination.
DO NOT Go around asking everyone you know to get involved.
Like most controlling and manipulating mothers, you're
lack of self control with any problem becomes the soap
box where you stand to complain about others.
REMEMBER A Mother who gossips about the family members, gossips about each child, In defiance of their privacy
wishes and needs for privacy, and stomps boundary.
BOUNDARY A mother doesn't get it or outwardly refuses to accept the child's need for autonomy.
At 30 years old, I declared a boundary "Call before you come". She was immediately hostile, stomped on my boundary., She showed up screaming and flipping me off from the car, peeled out of my driveway screaming as the lunatic she is.
To intervene on my behalf she will sell me out. Make threatening and stupid demands that we will ignore. Dominating mothers need to Get over yourself, your bad behavior is why we don't talk to you.
STOP Saying "I don't know what I did" You do know and should be ashamed of your arrogance. "But I'm just a little old lady"
Does not give you a pass to go on like you always have.
The banishment is from your bad behavior. You should not force
the last word down your remaining friends and family, as convincing them that you are a quality person is not the their problem. Don't make your problems the problems of others.
Get psychological help Dominating Mother, Dig deep and reorient yourself with your behavior from raising your children. The children live daily with everything you said and did in their childhood. Familiarize yourself with your past and the truth of why the kids don't talk to you will come full circle, front and center in your face. Then you will know and will become humble.