The Abusive Adoptive Mother
A women adopting is the final conciliation when reproduction attempts have failed, and all options have been exhausted..
The second best is not the first choice considering the intentional infliction of lifelong psychological trauma (of a child) that adoption is responsible for and the cause of.
Men do not think about adopting children or taking other people's offspring to raise as their own, only women possess this degree of selfishness and want. The husband is along for the ride of the wife's latest temporary fixation. Until her wants and desires become intolerable the husband will endure to the extent of his patients, sex and compensated finances. The differences in male female relationships is the man's awareness of the impermanence of the female's fleeting desires. The new common and present day problem for adopted children, Is the adoptive parent's change of mind and resale over the internet. It Is really the mother who is no longer having fun playing house with someone else's offspring, and the father was just going along with what his wife wanted in the first place to keep her happy.
When the wife becomes unhappy everyone will suffer by her misery. When the mother is too proud to admit defeat and resell her adoptive child, she will always endure. The child will be broken like a horse, strapped, saddled and domesticated.
Selfish Adoptive Mothers are cruel, cunning and mentally torturous. As the adoptive child is a constant reminder of her reproductive failure, bad choices, lazy parenting skills, submission or defiance. The child doesn't stay in their box when she is done with them. The social, school or police system could potentially interfere in her family life witch is intrusive and to her feels like black-mail. The child gaining independence with age could potentially embarrass or defy her, which leaves her with uneasy feelings. Worse the child could turn on her, becoming increasingly ungrateful and expose
the abuse and truth of her defectiveness as a mother.
The Characteristics Of Abusive Adoptive Mothers
- Constant criticism, no help or advice.
- Always dominating the conversation.
- The need to have the last word to ensure control.
- Threats of physical violence, slapping the child's face.
- Using force as an act of degrading to keep the child in his place.
- Threats of rejection "We will send you back to the county adoption agency"
- "There are many nice girls who would take your place".
- Threats of abandonment "You can be replaced".
- Placing guilt on to the child (emotional blackmail) "You cause me shame".
- Incapable of feeling guilt "Adopting you was a big mistake".
- Blaming the child (it’s your fault, if it weren’t for you…)
- Using rewards and punishment as a tool of manipulation "Someday you...".
- Use gifts as a tool of manipulation
- Invading privacy, Reading diary, listening to phone calls.
- Refusing to give privacy appropriate for the child’s age and development.
- Silent treatment (ignoring) As tactical punishment.
- Not acknowledging their child’s talents skills and abilities
- Actually feeling jealousy of a child's accomplishment.
- Refusing to acknowledge any accomplishment such as sport or academic achievements "You are expected to achieve a level of value".
- Refusing to apologize for humiliating child in public. "You deserved it".
- ‘You own me’ mentality….I feed you, clothe you, put a roof over your head…
- Say negative things and gossip to relatives and friends about the child.
- "She got her period", "She got into trouble again".
- Embarrass their children on a regular basis. "The gynecologist says"
- Demand unconditional love and allegiance without reciprocating.
- Demand respect but do not give respect.
- “I’m always right” (and never wrong) mentally, child is always wrong.
- Sense of entitlement.
- Treat other siblings or other children kindly to reinforce that you don’t deserve to be loved, treated kindly or respected, "
- "You deserved it because you are bad and always causing me headaches"