The Domination and Damage From Adopted Child's Parenting.
- Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating. judging, criticizing:
- Does mother make fun of you or put you down in front of others?
- Do she tease you, use sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?
- When you complain does mother say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?
- Does Mother tell you that your opinion or feelings are “wrong?”
- Does Mother regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings on a regular basis.
- #2.Domination, control, and shame:
- Do you feel that your mother treats you like a child?
- Do your mother constantly correct or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate?”
- Do you feel you must “get permission” before going somewhere, making decisions and existing in life?
- Do she treat you as though you are inferior to her?
- Do she make you feel as though she is always right?
- Does she remind you of your shortcomings?
- Does she belittle your accomplishments, your aspirations, your plans or even who you are?
- Does she give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?
- Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings:
- Does she accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?
- Is she unable to laugh at themselves?
- Is she extremely sensitive when it comes to others making fun of them or making any kind of comment that seems to show a lack of respect?
- Does she have trouble apologizing?
- Does she make excuses for their behavior or tend to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?
- Does she call you names or label you?
- Does she blame you for their problems or unhappiness?
- Does she continually have “boundary violations” and disrespect your valid requests?
- Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:
- Does she use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection and use the silent treatment?
- Does she not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect or abandonment as punishment?
- Does she play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?
- Does she not notice or care how you feel?
- Does she not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?
- Codependence and enmeshment:
- Does she treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves, forever child?
- Does she not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?
- Does she disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?
- Does she require continual contact and haven’t developed a healthy support network among their own peers?
is completely factual in many adoptee's abnormal relationship
of ownership by their mother. The disturbing reality of behavior
and how long adoptee's let it continue.