About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

The Domination and Damage Resulting From Adopted Child's Parenting


The Domination and Damage From Adopted Child's Parenting.

Adopted Child's Basic anxiety is a term used by psychoanalytic theorist Karen Horney. She developed one of the best known theories of neurosis applied to adopted children presenting overpopulation in psychiatric hospitalization. Horney believed that neurosis resulted from basic anxiety caused by parental relationships in childhood. Her theory proposes that strategies used to cope with anxiety can be overused, causing them to take on the appearance of needs. According to Horney, basic anxiety (and therefore neurosis) could result from a variety of things including, "...direct or indirect domination, indifference, erratic behavior, lack of respect for the child's individual needs, lack of real guidance, disparaging attitudes toward the child, the absence of admiration, lack of reliable warmth and nurturing., The pressure of having to take sides in parental disagreements, too much or too little responsibility. The parent's Inconsistency in over-protection and lack of protection, isolation from other children, injustice, discrimination. The chronic parental behavior of un-kept promises creating consistent disappointment that morphs into intentional infliction of pain. Hostility of home atmosphere, Hostility in parent child relationship and punishment of child for natural and normal responses.
Emotional Abuse By Narcissistic Mother

Emotional abuse is elusive. Unlike physical abuse, the people doing it and receiving it may not even know it’s happening.
It can be more harmful than physical abuse because it can undermine what we think about ourselves. It can cripple all we are meant to be as we allow something untrue to define us. Emotional abuse can happen between mother and child, husband and wife, among relatives and between friends. Mother and child is the primary damaging relationship.
The abuser projects their words, attitudes or actions onto an unsuspecting victim usually because they themselves have not dealt with childhood wounds that are now causing them to harm others.
In the following areas, ask these questions to see if you are being abused by your mother:
  1. Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating. judging, criticizing:
    • Does mother make fun of you or put you down in front of others?
    • Do she tease you, use sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?
    • When you complain does mother say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?
    • Does Mother tell you that your opinion or feelings are “wrong?”
    • Does Mother regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings on a regular basis.
    • #2.Domination, control, and shame:
    • Do you feel that your mother treats you like a child?
    • Do your mother constantly correct or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate?”
    • Do you feel you must “get permission” before going somewhere, making decisions and existing in life?
    • Do she treat you as though you are inferior to her?
    • Do she make you feel as though she is always right?
    • Does she remind you of your shortcomings?
    • Does she belittle your accomplishments, your aspirations, your plans or even who you are?
    • Does she give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?
  1. Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings:
    • Does she accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?
    • Is she unable to laugh at themselves?
    • Is she extremely sensitive when it comes to others making fun of them or making any kind of comment that seems to show a lack of respect?
    • Does she have trouble apologizing?
    • Does she make excuses for their behavior or tend to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?
    • Does she call you names or label you?
    • Does she blame you for their problems or unhappiness?
    • Does she continually have “boundary violations” and disrespect your valid requests?
  1. Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:
    • Does she use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection and use the silent treatment?
    • Does she not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect or abandonment as punishment?
    • Does she play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?
    • Does she not notice or care how you feel?
    • Does she not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?
  1. Codependence and enmeshment:
    • Does she treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves, forever child?
    • Does she not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?
    • Does she disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?
    • Does she require continual contact and haven’t developed a healthy support network among their own peers?
 This list of narcissistic mother's treatment of her adopted child
is completely factual in many adoptee's abnormal relationship
of ownership by their mother. The disturbing reality of behavior
and how long adoptee's let it continue.