About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Growing Emotional Dependent Adoptees By Use Of "GasLighting"


"Gaslighting" In the Control of Abused Adoptees

Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory, perception and sanity.      
Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.
The term "gaslighting" comes from the play "Gas Light" and its film adaptations. The term is now also used in clinical and research literature.
Resisting The Adoptive Parent's Control.
With respect to women in particular, Hilde Lindemann argued that "in gaslighting cases...ability to resist depends on 'her ability to trust her own judgements.'" Establishing "counter-stories" to that of the gaslighter may help the victim reacquire or even for the first time "acquire ordinary levels of free agency."
Experience of Gaslighting by Adoptive Parents
As an adult trying to understand the abuse, I would ask my Adoptive mother
questions about my memories from childhood. Knowing better than and not going near the big problems or putting her on the witness stand. Any questions I would ask, she counters with a different unrelated story. When pressed about the past unrelated to the main problem, she will say I have a poor memory. After I read about "Gaslighting" I would test the theory on mother and she would pass with flying colors every conversation! I just had to remember not to react to her angry reactions to my ineptitude, incompetence and five year old brain functioning..
Poor memory,remembered wrong, exaggerate the facts, am too dramatic, hyperactive imagination, dwell on false memory, create negative drama, and more.
To You are a liar, a cheat and a slut. The drama queen in need of attention.
These statements are ironic because I am a shadow, a shut-in, hiding away from the outside world where she might be. Hiding from mother (in my forties) and the world that she owns and controls. As long as I stay hidden, she can't reduce me back to the five year old child who dwells inside her mentality.
The Adopted Child Is Groomed into Substandard State of Child Forever. 
The questioning about things unrelated to her emotional and physical abuse
she becomes defensive, saying that I have it totally wrong in her mind. She will remind me that "the past is behind us, we can only go forward" but my brain say deal with it now. As I have avoided my past until it overwhelmed and stopped me now. 
I now know that she will go to her grave without admitting any wrong doing. 
If I confront her she will fight to the death to prove me wrong, If I light that stick of dynamite she will explode. Any questioning of my childhood is met with concrete resistance by public figure perfect mother. I however did not fare so well.
How We Got This Way?
The Adopted at birth Child has been groomed to accept the behavior of the dominating Adoptive parents. This relationship is built on the Adoptee's fear 
of the Adoptive parents.  The longstanding degree of parental anger at the adoptive child is a consequence of his outsider status. Not being a cohesive 
member of the family, even with the child grooming the biological traits of the Adoptee grow more different and away from control with age. Thus provoking more Adoptive parent anger by the assertion of the child's independence.
When the Adoptee reaches the age of majority, many abused children have already left home, been banished or have been kicked out.
When The Issues From Childhood Abuse Arise.
The Adult Adoptee will resist, ignore and store them in memory to be dealt with at a later time. When the memories will not stay away from the present mind, we still refuse to deal with them, we begin new symptoms of illnesses and disease.
When the memory demands address, we begin to shovel a mountain with a teaspoon. Where to begin, in a psychotherapy or counselling office. As the
time in counselling is limited, we have too much time to relive the problems without
sponges to soak up the leaking and spilled memories. On our own time we take to paper, what we should be doing all along.