About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

The Adopted Child's Temporary Adoptive Personality Vs. The Big Five Personality Traits That Emerge In Freedom From Adoption Bonds

The Adopted Child's Temporary Adoptive Personality, and
The Big Five Personality Traits that Emerge In Freedom from
Adoption Bonds.

The Big Five Personality Traits:

A summary of the factors of the Big Five and their constituent traits:[4]
  • Openness to experience – (inventive/curious vs. consistent/cautious). Appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, curiosity, and variety of experience. Openness reflects the degree of intellectual curiosity, creativity and a preference for novelty and variety a person has. It is also described as the extent to which a person is imaginative or independent, and depicts a personal preference for a variety of activities over a strict routine. Some disagreement remains about how to interpret the openness factor, which is sometimes called "intellect" rather than openness to experience.
  • Conscientiousness – (efficient/organized vs. easy-going/careless). A tendency to show self-discipline, act dutifully, and aim for achievement; planned rather than spontaneous behavior; organized, and dependable.
  • Extraversion – (outgoing/energetic vs. solitary/reserved). Energy, positive emotions, surgency, assertiveness, sociability and the tendency to seek stimulation in the company of others, and talkativeness.
  • Agreeableness – (friendly/compassionate vs. cold/unkind). A tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others. It is also a measure of ones' trusting and helpful nature, and whether a person is generally well tempered or not.
  • Neuroticism – (sensitive/nervous vs. secure/confident). The tendency to experience unpleasant emotions easily, such as angeranxiety, depression, or vulnerability. Neuroticism also refers to the degree of emotional stability and impulse control, and is sometimes referred by its low pole – "emotional stability".


As an Adopted child: "Personality Reflects Avoiding Consequences"
#1. treated different,separated barred from participating with natural born siblings.
#2. Suppressed, Controlled,dominated and struck in the face when resisting.
#3. Not allowed to speak at family gatherings, dinner, watching TV.
#4. Not a celebrated child, a financial liability.
#5.  Not allowed to speak, hear, talk or remember childhood domestic violence
#6.  Regarded as 5 years in adulthood, slapped, punished & verbal correction.

Post-Reunion Adult, Confirming my dis satisfactions from childhood:

#1. I am the first born child, The oldest, a younger sister & two brothers
#2. Have a natural speaking, writing and musical talent.
#3. Amazing memory and text reading recall, good college grades.
#4. Fire fighter, nurse, researcher and writer.
#5. Great social skills, personable and empathetic.
#6. Motivated to a fault away from adoptive family perception of a 5 year-old.
As long as I stay far away they can't harm me, or Harm my will to live.

The truth of who I am has changed my miserable suicidal life into a new
life that focus to help other Adoptees navigate what has psychologically
occurred is deliberate, our fallout is consequential manifestation from the child selling industry adoption. 

Genealogical Bewilderment of Adopted Children & Adult Adoptees


Genealogical Bewilderment of Adopted Children & Adult Adoptee


Genealogical Bewilderment
is a term referring to identity problems experienced by children who was either adopted, foster or conceived via an assisted reproduction procedure such as surrogacy or gamete donation (egg or sperm donation).                                      The controversy surrounding this topic.
The term was coined in 1964 by psychologist H. J. Sants, referring to the plight of children who have uncertain, little, or no knowledge of one or both of their natural parents. Sants argued that genealogical bewilderment constituted a large part of the additional stress that adoptees experienced that is not experienced by children being raised by their natural parents.

The Legally Sanctioned Constitutional Discrimination

Genealogical Deprivation

The United States imposes condemning restrictive laws
Against an isolated specific population based on the previous generation's marital status at the time of an individuals birth.

#1)The legally sanctioned constitutional discrimination against an isolated, specific population of adopted children and adult adoptees from obtaining the individuals original Identifying documentation.
#2)The second legally sanctioned constitutional discrimination
against an isolated, specific population, Is the forced use of a counterfeit Identity that was not instituted by the individual or with the individuals consent.

"Children without genealogy: The problem of adoption":
"Knowledge of and definite relationship to his genealogy is ... necessary for a child to build up his complete body image and world picture. It is an inalienable and entitled right of every person. There is an urge, a call, in everybody to follow and fulfill the tradition of his family, race, nation, and the religious community into which he was born. The loss of this tradition is a deprivation which may result in the stunting of emotional development.
Levy-Shiff (2001, p. 102) elaborated based on findings from a study on adult adoptees:
"Whereas previous studies have documented adoption during childhood and adolescence, the findings of the present study suggest that during adulthood as well, adoptees are at a higher risk for psychological maladjustment. Thus they were found, on average, to have a less coherent and positive self-concept and to manifest more pathological symptomatology than did nonadoptees. ... It has been suggested (Sorosky et al., 1975; Verrier, 1987) that the difficulties in resolving a sense of coherent and positive self-identity is tied to four fundamental psychological issues: ... (4) confusion and uncertainty regarding genealogical continuity, tied to the lack of knowledge about one’s ancestors. Accordingly, the lack of ‘‘biological mutuality’’ among adoptive family members, such as shared biologically based characteristics regarding appearance, intellectual skills, personality traits, and so forth, impedes the adoptee’s ability to identify with adoptive parents. Moreover, the lack of information about one’s biological background is likely to create a ‘‘hereditary ghost’’ which may contribute to a confused, unstable, and distorted sense of self. It is possible that self development does not have closure in adolescence, especially among adoptees, but continues to evolve over the lifespan through reconciliation and integration of many complex perceptions, cognitive systems, and self-object representations. (p. 102)."[4]

There is some debate about the contribution of genealogical bewilderment to adoption searches. On other hand, Storm (1988) in the Psychoanalytic Quarterly, summarizes Humphrey and Humphrey (1986)[5] who state that:
"The term genealogical bewilderment refers to a group of psychological problems stemming from lack of knowledge of one's ancestors. Adopted children and children conceived by artificial insemination from an anonymous donor are two examples of groups who may suffer from this problem. The literature is reviewed. Early papers suggested that not knowing about one's ancestors keeps one from developing a secure self-image. More recent work suggests that good surrogate family relationships lead to good development, regardless of the lack of information about biological ancestors, and that the drive to search out biological ancestors usually reflects poor relationships with the surrogate parents
On the other hand, in a more recent article, Affleck and Steed (2001) state:
"Dissatisfaction with adoptive parents was originally thought to be a motivating factor related to adoptees' searching (Sorosky, et al., 1975; Triseliotis, 1973). However, more recent research has found that the vast majority of adoptees who search have positive relationships with adoptive parents (Pacheco & Eme, 1993) or that the quality of adoptive relationships (either positive or negative) is not associated with a decision to search (Sachdev, 1993).... In fact, the most common reasons for searching given by adoptees are related to four themes: "genealogical bewilderment" (adoptees' need for historical connection to resolve identity issues); a need for information, a need to reduce stigma, and a desire to assure the [natural parents] of the adoptees' wellbeing"
Genealogical bewilderment has mass social relevance based on the general acceptance of the term and its meaning.
Judith and Martin Land (2011) address genealogical bewilderment as an important psychological motive for doing an adoption search, Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child, pages 270 and 275. The uncertain state of genealogical bewilderment is a source of stress, perhaps leaving adoptees more prone to rebellion because they have no roots or foundation from which to judge their potential. Discovery of genealogical roots is a path to understanding the true inner being and potential source of psychological grounding. Exposure of this topic to a wider audience is encouraged. “Genealogical bewilderment evokes a nefarious air of uncertainty and befuddles a child’s ability to establish their true self-identity.” —Judith Land

References en.Wikipedia.org/wiki/genealogical_bewilderment 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Growing Emotional Dependent Adoptees By Use Of "GasLighting"


"Gaslighting" In the Control of Abused Adoptees

Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory, perception and sanity.      
Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.
The term "gaslighting" comes from the play "Gas Light" and its film adaptations. The term is now also used in clinical and research literature.
Resisting The Adoptive Parent's Control.
With respect to women in particular, Hilde Lindemann argued that "in gaslighting cases...ability to resist depends on 'her ability to trust her own judgements.'" Establishing "counter-stories" to that of the gaslighter may help the victim reacquire or even for the first time "acquire ordinary levels of free agency."
Experience of Gaslighting by Adoptive Parents
As an adult trying to understand the abuse, I would ask my Adoptive mother
questions about my memories from childhood. Knowing better than and not going near the big problems or putting her on the witness stand. Any questions I would ask, she counters with a different unrelated story. When pressed about the past unrelated to the main problem, she will say I have a poor memory. After I read about "Gaslighting" I would test the theory on mother and she would pass with flying colors every conversation! I just had to remember not to react to her angry reactions to my ineptitude, incompetence and five year old brain functioning..
Poor memory,remembered wrong, exaggerate the facts, am too dramatic, hyperactive imagination, dwell on false memory, create negative drama, and more.
To You are a liar, a cheat and a slut. The drama queen in need of attention.
These statements are ironic because I am a shadow, a shut-in, hiding away from the outside world where she might be. Hiding from mother (in my forties) and the world that she owns and controls. As long as I stay hidden, she can't reduce me back to the five year old child who dwells inside her mentality.
The Adopted Child Is Groomed into Substandard State of Child Forever. 
The questioning about things unrelated to her emotional and physical abuse
she becomes defensive, saying that I have it totally wrong in her mind. She will remind me that "the past is behind us, we can only go forward" but my brain say deal with it now. As I have avoided my past until it overwhelmed and stopped me now. 
I now know that she will go to her grave without admitting any wrong doing. 
If I confront her she will fight to the death to prove me wrong, If I light that stick of dynamite she will explode. Any questioning of my childhood is met with concrete resistance by public figure perfect mother. I however did not fare so well.
How We Got This Way?
The Adopted at birth Child has been groomed to accept the behavior of the dominating Adoptive parents. This relationship is built on the Adoptee's fear 
of the Adoptive parents.  The longstanding degree of parental anger at the adoptive child is a consequence of his outsider status. Not being a cohesive 
member of the family, even with the child grooming the biological traits of the Adoptee grow more different and away from control with age. Thus provoking more Adoptive parent anger by the assertion of the child's independence.
When the Adoptee reaches the age of majority, many abused children have already left home, been banished or have been kicked out.
When The Issues From Childhood Abuse Arise.
The Adult Adoptee will resist, ignore and store them in memory to be dealt with at a later time. When the memories will not stay away from the present mind, we still refuse to deal with them, we begin new symptoms of illnesses and disease.
When the memory demands address, we begin to shovel a mountain with a teaspoon. Where to begin, in a psychotherapy or counselling office. As the
time in counselling is limited, we have too much time to relive the problems without
sponges to soak up the leaking and spilled memories. On our own time we take to paper, what we should be doing all along. 

Legal Warnings About Adoptee's Future Legal Actions


"Wrongful Adoption" Warnings and Liabilities
The Donaldson Foundation Warns Adoptee's Legal Redress

Areas of Concern for the Future: "Wrongful Placement" Claims by Adult Adoptees

Some agencies have expressed concerns that current policies promoting transracial adoption and recent mandates related to the Americans with Disabilities Act may lead to claims by adopted individuals that they were improperly placed with unsuitable adoptive families.
With regard to transracial adoption policies, the concern is that adoptees may later claim that adoptive placements outside their communities of color have harmed them.

Federal law, as stated in the Interethnic Adoption Provisions of the Small Business Job Protection Act of 1996, essentially prohibits the consideration of race, culture, or ethnicity in a foster or adoptive placement.

Will agencies, conforming to these mandates, later face liability if an African American child adopted by a white family, for example, asserts that he or she was harmed by being deprived of a family and community of his or her own race and culture? If an individual attributes mental health problems to his
transracial adoption,
will the agency potentially have liability under a theory of wrongful placement? Although speculative at this point, there are aspects of transracial adoption practice that may have implications related to "wrongful placement", issues that should be carefully considered as policies in this area are implemented.

In addition to the federal requirements related to transracial adoption practice, there are federal legislative requirements in the Americans With Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA) which also raise concerns related to potential "wrongful placement"liability.

The ADA broadly protects individuals with disabilities from discrimination in the workplace as well as in relation to services provided by certain "public accommodations" such as private adoption agencies.
The ADA prohibits adoption agencies from categorically rejecting individuals as prospective adoptive parents by reason of an actual or perceived disability. Protected disabilities under the ADA broadly include physical diseases, handicapping conditions, and mental illnesses and disorders. Although agencies are permitted to conduct individualized assessments to determine whether, on the basis of safety, an individual with a disability should qualify as an adoptive parent, there are, nonetheless, risks associated with decisions to reject applicants based on disability. Agencies potentially face charges of discrimination and litigation based on alleged violations of the ADA when they reject applicants on the basis of disability. Potential liability under the ADA appears to exist even when agencies inquire about applicants' health and other history in an effort to comply with state laws that require prospective adoptive parents to be in reasonably good health as a prerequisite to adopting.

From the standpoint of potential liability for "wrongful placement," there is the possibility that an adoptee could later assert negligence on the part of an agency for placing her with an adoptive parent whose physical or mental disability should have alerted the agency to significant limitations in the individual's ability to parent. Will agencies, for example, later face liability because they place children with individuals with histories of mental health problems and who later abuse or neglect them? If an individual claims emotional injury from being placed with an adoptive parent whose known medical condition resulted in an early death, leaving the adopted child to suffer yet another loss, could an agency be held liable? These issues have not yet been addressed.

Courts that have recognized the tort of wrongful adoption and held agencies liable for fraudulent and negligent conduct have clearly outlined the type of misconduct for which agencies will be held liable.
There remain, however, questions about the nature and scope of wrongful adoption liability, particularly in the area of international adoption, where lawsuits have only recently begun to be filed, and in relation to such questions as the duty to obtain full information, the communication of unverified and interpretative information, the use of genetic testing as part of pre-adoption evaluations, and the duty to disclose updated information. In spite of the lack of clarity in a number of areas, attorneys can assist agencies to implement a range of practices that will enhance their ability to properly disclose health and other background information and limit their exposure to liability for wrongful adoption.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Why The Adoptee Must Tell Wright About Abuse


Why the Adoptee Must Write About Abuse
For anyone coming to terms with childhood abuse, injustice
and psychological manipulation writing it down helps in many ways. Writing the incidents of abuse on paper makes it real, readable and the perpetrator did not entirely get away with it
if someone else reads it. The reader's feelings are validations of empathy and justice for the cruelty suffered by an innocent trusting child long ago. The Abuser is guilty and a bad person in
the mind of the reader, as the reader's empathy is the justice.
The abused must document and remember so this kind of abuse
will not be forgotten. Talking about abuse and being abused is a way to make sense of the act by verbalizing it to someone who cares, a friend, family member (not the abuser) and counselor or therapist. Talking and writing about your abuse is a mentally healthy way to digest and introduce the emotions to the self for the first time. As abused children are not allowed to discuss or speak about anything the parents have done will be denied and you will be called a liar, just like when you were a kid. The  
past can not leave you until you emotionally recognize and mentally digest what has occurred in the past.   Then you can get beyond but for some there is a reason for the childhood problem not to leave your short term memory. Be kind to yourself and give help to that helpless child inside you. 

Monday, September 23, 2013

Adoption Disruption and Disolution


Adoption Disruption and Dissolution

The current estimate of recorded domestic adoption dissolution in United States is 25%. Not including international adoptions,

In Russia 30,000 Adoptees returned in THREE YEARS.

In the U.S. the laws and protections in place to protect the unhappy child consumer from fines, jail and any reasonable responsibility of legal, moral and negligent behavior in buying a child and selling children.

Still the children trafficked into the U.S. has a slave status, avoid of any rights, protection or recognition as a human being. The
child has to be beaten to death and their body found for any hope of justice to be served.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

The Narcissistic Adoptive Parent's Tool Of Triangulation


The Adoptee's Domination and Control By the Adoptive Parent's Tactic and Use Of "Triangulation".

Definition: Triangulation

The term triangulation is used to express a situation in which one family member will not communicate directly with another family member, but will communicate with a third family member, which can lead to the third family member becoming part of the triangle. The concept originated in the study of dysfunctional family systems, but can describe behaviors in other systems as well, including work.
Triangulation can also be used as a label for a form of "splitting" in which one person plays the third family member against one that he or she is upset about. This is playing the two people against each other, but usually the person doing the splitting will also engage in Character assassination, with one or both parties.
The Example Of Intentional Harm By A Third Party.
The Dominate Adoptive Mother Asserts Authority and Control Over Adoptee.
The Adoptive mother is the facilitator of all communication and information going to and from the Adoptee. No family members will talk to the Adoptee directly and are discouraged from direct communication with the Adoptee.  The Adoptive parents have encouraged, promoted and mediated this negative form of deceptive communication that protects the biological siblings from the Adoptee outsider. The unethical behavior of triangulation and it's use gives the parent dominating control over the Adoptee's connection to the extended adoptive family. The narcissist's command over the Adoptees external relationship with deceptive impulses, creating a negative influence in the communicated information. With the intentional malice to invalidate, discredit and inflict emotional harm to the Adoptee, by the distortion of facts, creating indifference in other's relationships.
Example #2.
Similar to opening another persons mail and writing a hateful exaggerating message in reply.  
Example #3.
Although many lonely older people intentionally engage in the behavior of triangulation, example a hospitalized relative. Speaking on the behalf of the hospitalized person the family calls the "middle-man" instead of the hospitalized person. The lonely middle-man receives the wanted attention, feels a sense of importance by the control of the information and the information seekers have to contact the middleman.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

The Domination and Damage Resulting From Adopted Child's Parenting


The Domination and Damage From Adopted Child's Parenting.

Adopted Child's Basic anxiety is a term used by psychoanalytic theorist Karen Horney. She developed one of the best known theories of neurosis applied to adopted children presenting overpopulation in psychiatric hospitalization. Horney believed that neurosis resulted from basic anxiety caused by parental relationships in childhood. Her theory proposes that strategies used to cope with anxiety can be overused, causing them to take on the appearance of needs. According to Horney, basic anxiety (and therefore neurosis) could result from a variety of things including, "...direct or indirect domination, indifference, erratic behavior, lack of respect for the child's individual needs, lack of real guidance, disparaging attitudes toward the child, the absence of admiration, lack of reliable warmth and nurturing., The pressure of having to take sides in parental disagreements, too much or too little responsibility. The parent's Inconsistency in over-protection and lack of protection, isolation from other children, injustice, discrimination. The chronic parental behavior of un-kept promises creating consistent disappointment that morphs into intentional infliction of pain. Hostility of home atmosphere, Hostility in parent child relationship and punishment of child for natural and normal responses.
Emotional Abuse By Narcissistic Mother

Emotional abuse is elusive. Unlike physical abuse, the people doing it and receiving it may not even know it’s happening.
It can be more harmful than physical abuse because it can undermine what we think about ourselves. It can cripple all we are meant to be as we allow something untrue to define us. Emotional abuse can happen between mother and child, husband and wife, among relatives and between friends. Mother and child is the primary damaging relationship.
The abuser projects their words, attitudes or actions onto an unsuspecting victim usually because they themselves have not dealt with childhood wounds that are now causing them to harm others.
In the following areas, ask these questions to see if you are being abused by your mother:
  1. Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating. judging, criticizing:
    • Does mother make fun of you or put you down in front of others?
    • Do she tease you, use sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?
    • When you complain does mother say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?
    • Does Mother tell you that your opinion or feelings are “wrong?”
    • Does Mother regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings on a regular basis.
    • #2.Domination, control, and shame:
    • Do you feel that your mother treats you like a child?
    • Do your mother constantly correct or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate?”
    • Do you feel you must “get permission” before going somewhere, making decisions and existing in life?
    • Do she treat you as though you are inferior to her?
    • Do she make you feel as though she is always right?
    • Does she remind you of your shortcomings?
    • Does she belittle your accomplishments, your aspirations, your plans or even who you are?
    • Does she give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?
  1. Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings:
    • Does she accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?
    • Is she unable to laugh at themselves?
    • Is she extremely sensitive when it comes to others making fun of them or making any kind of comment that seems to show a lack of respect?
    • Does she have trouble apologizing?
    • Does she make excuses for their behavior or tend to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?
    • Does she call you names or label you?
    • Does she blame you for their problems or unhappiness?
    • Does she continually have “boundary violations” and disrespect your valid requests?
  1. Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:
    • Does she use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection and use the silent treatment?
    • Does she not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect or abandonment as punishment?
    • Does she play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?
    • Does she not notice or care how you feel?
    • Does she not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?
  1. Codependence and enmeshment:
    • Does she treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves, forever child?
    • Does she not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?
    • Does she disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?
    • Does she require continual contact and haven’t developed a healthy support network among their own peers?
 This list of narcissistic mother's treatment of her adopted child
is completely factual in many adoptee's abnormal relationship
of ownership by their mother. The disturbing reality of behavior
and how long adoptee's let it continue.

Adopted Child Lack Of Attachment Result


Adopted Children's Lack Of Attachment Result

Primary attachment to help modulate stress

There is evidence that caring and secure environments help to moderate the negative impact that stress places on the developing brain (Gunnar, 1998). Because safety and bonding are crucial factors in the early construction of the brain, childhood trauma compromises core neural networks (Cozolino, 2002).
Normal play and exploratory activity in children requires the presence of a familiar attachment figure who can help modulate each child's physiological arousal by providing a balance between soothing and stimulation (Streeck-Fischer & van der Kolk, 2000). Children feel secure when the caregiver provides consistent, warm and sensitive care (Davila & Levy, 2006). In secure environments, stressed children after seeking and receiving comfort from their primary caregiver return to their exploratory activity away from the primary caregiver (p. 989). The caregiver's appropriate soothing response not only protects the child from the effects of stressful situations but it also enables the child to develop the biological framework for dealing with future stress (Schore, 1994; cited in Streeck-Fischer & van der Kolk, 2000). Acquiring controllable stress reactions seems to result in central nervous system reactions that facilitate the capacity to deal with subsequent stresses.
Devoid of a secure base, children find they cannot rely on the primary caregiver for comfort and may become incapable of calming themselves down when threatened. In addition, if children are exposed to unmanageable stress and the caregiver does not help modulate the child's arousal (as in situations of family violence) the child will be unable to organise his/her experiences in a coherent fashion (Streeck-Fischer & van der Kolk, 2000). If the child cannot regulate his/her emotional states, or rely on others to help: he/she will respond with fight or flight reactions. Cognitive understanding of events helps modulate emotions and enables the formulation of a flexible response. Both cognition and emotions are important. Children who are denied parental care or comfort for long periods of time, can suffer extreme mental and emotional deficits (Van Der Horst, LeRoy, & Van Der Veer, 2008).
Our first intimate or loving relationship is with our primary caregiver and this informs our expectations and patterns of behaviour (Harlow, 1958). For example, Bowlby (1969; 1973; 1980; 1988) identified a strong relationship between the pattern of attachment in young children and the patterns of their intimate relationships in later life. The negative core schema adopted by a survivor as a result of that first attachment fundamentally affects that survivor's capacity to establish and sustain significant attachments throughout life. Survivors often experience conflictual relationships and chaotic lifestyles, frequently report difficulties forming adult intimate attachments and display behaviours that threaten and disrupt close relationships (Henderson, 2006).

We have all heard the saying "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and "time heals all wounds". These bits of common wisdom conjure a picture of traumatic experiences that, once overcome, result in greater levels of psychological, physical and emotional wellbeing. Although trials and tribulations can certainly build character, they can also create permanent biological, neurological and psychological compromise (Cozolino, 2002). The impact of traumatic events on infants and young children is often minimized in this way. It is ironic that during infancy and childhood, a time of the greatest vulnerability to the effects of trauma, adults generally presume greater resilience (Perry, Pollard, Blakely, Baker, & Vigilante, 1995). The effects of early and severe trauma are widespread, devastating and difficult to treat (Cozolino, 2002; Giarratano, 2004a).
Childhood trauma can cause severe disturbances in the integration of sensory, emotional and cognitive information into a cohesive whole. This sets the stage for unfocused and irrelevant responses to subsequent stress (Cozolino, 2002; Streeck-Fischer & van der Kolk, 2000). For example, a lack of capacity for emotional self-regulation has been commonly observed in children who experience abuse and neglect (Streeck-Fischer & van der Kolk, 2000). Childhood trauma has profound impact on the emotional, behavioural, cognitive, social and physical functioning of children (Perry et al., 1995). Among other impacts, a traumatised child may, over time, exhibit motor hyperactivity, anxiety, behavioural impulsivity, sleep problems, and hypertension (Perry et al., 1995).
Similarly, adult survivors of childhood abuse have consistently identified impairments in adult physical and mental health in studies (Draper et al., 2007). Even though not everyone exhibits the same set of symptoms, or experiences the same intensity of problems, research shows that the long-term effects of child abuse are pervasive, across all areas of a survivor's world.
Although the association between childhood abuse and adult mental and physical health problems is well documented, less is known about the pathways through which health is compromised. An understanding of the effects of child abuse and neglect on a child's physical (biological), cognitive, social, behavioural and emotional development helps make sense of their repercussions in adulthood. Pathways linking childhood abuse with adult health outcomes span emotional, behavioural, social, cognitive, and biological pathways.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

The Civil Rights Discrimination of Children and Adult Adoptees in the United States


The Practice of Social Exclusion Against Adopted Children and Adults.

Social Exclusion of Adoptees and Adopted Children
Social exclusion also referred to as marginalization, is a concept used in many parts of the world to characterize contemporary forms of social disadvantage and relegation to the fringe of society. It is a term used widely in the United Stated and European Countries. First utilized in France.  It is used across disciplines including education, sociology, psychology, politics and economics.
Social exclusion refers to processes in which adopted children and adult individuals or entire communities of adopted people are systematically blocked from rights, opportunities and resources (e.g. birth certificates, housing, employment, healthcare, civic engagement, democratic participation and due process) that are normally available to members of society and which are key to social integration.
The resulting alienation or disenfranchisement is connected to a person's birth status, effecting social class educational opportunities, educational status, relationships in childhood and future living standards. It also applies to people  with a disability, groups of minorities, to members of LGBT community, to the elderly, and to youth and adopted children. Anyone who deviates in any perceived way from the norm of a population may become subject to coarse or subtle forms of social exclusion.
The outcome of adoption related and other forms of social exclusion is that affected individuals or communities are prevented from participating fully in the economic, social, and political life of the society in which labeled substandard        at birth.  
Material deprivation is the most common result of this exclusion. Ensuing poverty, emotional and psychological trauma, and its resulting psychological trauma, illness and disease may result in catastrophic damage to lives, health, and adopted child psyche.
Most of the characteristics listed in this article are present together in studies of social exclusion, 

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

U.S. Adopters Rely On the Adoption Underground to Buy or payoff loan, Re-package and Re-sell Previously Adopted Children


Finally A Huffington Post Report on the Adoption Underground

The Adoption Underground to Buy or pay off existing loan, Re-package and Re-sell the influx of damaged and unwanted Adopted Children formerly owned by U.S. Citizens., yet still in good condition and able to turn a profit.

The United States lack of Adoption Authority Governing the feeding frenzy of U.S. Adopters who will purchase children regardless of agency approval. The Disapproval of Adopters
creates high demand and higher prices for good sturdy human stock babies, and the practice of the Black Market Baby is Reborn. Alive and well the Black Market Baby Business is thriving along side, hand in hand with the American Adoption Industry topping 10 Billion in profits this year. The up and coming gross domestic product listed on the Dow Industrial National Average prices are souring for the human child product is looking good this year for buyers or investing in the industry.
The child trafficking movement is a win-win situation to double and triple your investments by year end 2013.  

Sunday, September 8, 2013

The Narcissist Personality Flaws, Fall Out and Damage Path


The Narcissist Personality Flaws, Fall Out and Damage Path

Two year old children begin to develop individual personalities and wills of their own.  The narcissistic mother comprehends each step toward independence as an act of betrayal.
Children's truthful emotions, honesty and the free expressions of how they see the world in that moment.
The child's annoying practice is punished early as possible since the narcissist does not care about the emotions of the child.. “What is wrong with you?” ,“You’re so oversensitive”, “You’re overreacting” and "You're too dramatic" common phrases pounded in to the heads of the child.
The mother's constant use of the phrase "I Love You" discounts and makes the concept into a key word of control and feel guilty. She
will smother, pick and choose which protection suits her in that moment, and always under all circumstances overreact to any and all situations.
  under the guise that they are sacrificing, gifting superior parenting and
doing their absolute best efforts worthy of the child's gratefulness.  
They will fail to provide age-appropriate information on such things as menstruation, personal grooming (make-up, hairstyles, shaving, etc.), budgeting the inconsistent allowance and dating because the child was never old enough to go out at all. This all serves to keep her children under her control as long as possible. If they are ill-informed and overprotected, they will not feel confident to grow or move further away from her. Although the serious narcissist never considers any plan or consequence because their ego superiority dominates over her dependent, needy child. In her ignorance she can't win an intelligent   argument and has the mentality of a child herself. The domination is based on her ability to bully as a large child, "the fact that I am right" "You are wrong""Because I said so" and "I am bigger than you".

The False Self --Narcissism or Codependency
We can be a little bit hurt or a lot hurt by neglect, abuse or trauma. The depth of the wound to the psyche determines the severity of the insult to the child's personality and a loss of the true self for the child. A false self develops along with a fragile self esteem of defining identity as feeling good when being given to or giving to others. The child is stuck in early primitive defenses and cannot go through the stage of normal separation from the parents that is necessary for growth.
Children of a difficult, more stubborn temperament defend against being supportive of others in the house. They observe how the selfish parents get his needs met by others. They learn how manipulation and using guilt gets the parent what he or she wants. They develop a false self and use aggression and intimidation to get their way.

The sensitive, guilt-ridden children in the family learn to meet the parent's needs for gratification and try to get love by accommodating the whims and wishes of the parent. 

The Ignored Child
The child's normal feelings are ignored, denied and eventually repressed in attempts to gain the parent's "love." Guilt and shame keep the child locked into this developmental arrest.

 Their aggressive impulses become split off and are not integrated with normal development. These children grow up learning to give too much and develop a false self of needing  to constantly check back and get approval. The constant need to be told they are not in danger of a brake up. The co-dependent will give all they have (money,energy) and begin to give up their preferences, likes and dislikes to please, put the other person on a worship basis instead of partnership in their relationships.

The Narcissist and narcissistic traits process information, emotions and unresolved pain to make up for what they did not have in childhood. They often place unrealistic demands on others to make themselves feel better. They cannot and will not tolerate  the negative emotional distress from others.  
Any outside criticism or disagreement to the narcissist mother is a declaration of war or personal challenge
to be turned back at others to blame. 
In the mind of the narcissist, they, those and them 
are always trying to publicly humiliate the narcissist as a fool.
To expose the real and painful truths behind the narcissist's facade of beauty, intelligence and prize worthy efforts that are on public display. The unveiling of the facade will not get at the truth which is intentionally long forgotten. Replaced with too many exaggerations and lies to filter or remember the original story of hurt. The narcissist has replaced the real story with a story not so humiliating but still worthy of everyone's empathy.  
The Narcissist believes the lies they tell. After repeating a story the warped mentality of the narcissist's woes will always be beneficial to them. Their belief that they were a victim but survived and prospered through educational goals and standards
of psychological behavior., To endure, triumph and evolved to become the specialist expert in all things related to human life.
Instead of looking within, observing simple cause and effect, or taking personal responsibility for hurting other people. The narcissist's distorted belief that her constant meddeling is acting on your behalf, living to help you, assist and benefit others as a selfless service to needs of humanity.
The Banished Narcissist
The narcissist's denial of what they do, their deviance, self serving and self defeating behavior worthy of severing ties with them forever. To escape from the helping hurt would and does create an instant calmness and normality in the lives of the self banished from the narcissist's web. If the narcissist banishes you
and you stay gone life remains peaceful. When the narcissist's victim decides to banish the narcissist, She is not going to tolerate rejection from the rejects. She will become obsessed with being rejected, refuses to acknowledge any fault or responsibility. The narcissist will showcase what exactly is narcissistic rage. The tantrum of an adult narcissist kicking and screaming is only the beginning. Now the family emergencies will erupt and the poor banished victim will look the suffering part,
and calling everyone you know to have them discuss what the problem is. She will have the last word and continues to engage you in her absence. Seeking out grandchildren to have a discussion about what their father did to hurt grandma. The narcissist expression of extremely poor behavior is at her last development age acting like a preschooler who can not be reasoned with and doesn't believe her manipulating conduct is bad. The narcissist will take all truths to the grave, as she will never admit she is wrong or responsible for hurting anyone.

Personality Flaws of Others
 This is the defense of projection -- what the person does not like in him or her self, they get angry at others who may have some of that same trait. Projecting one's anger onto others instead of using it to learn and grow is always limiting.
The "I Am Special" Belief of Self Deception

Self image is distorted with the narcissistic point of view and the person believes that he is superior to others. An inflated self-esteem is a defense to cover up their sense of shame deep within. Grandiosity is an insidious error in thinking that prevents them from blaming themselves and becoming depressed or disintegrated. Creeping narcissism in a person is their succumbing to the gradual demands of selfishness and entitlement by giving in to "I am special" beliefs. The last word
and final say is by the narcissist, to those codependents that have looked the other way and allowed the narcissist's bad behavior to grow and thrive over the years to create the monster within the miserable person. 

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Adolescent Adoptees Drugged For Normal Behavior

ADOPTEE RAGE!                                    

The percentage of Adoptees who are drugged by the people they trust
for normal adolescent behavior is disturbing.
Adoptees are already over represented in the outpatient, inpatient and psychiatric hospital setting with astounding statistics that have caused psychiatry doctors to question the practice of adoption since the 1950's.

Adolescent behavior is a miserable time for parents who have shaped the 
adopted child into how they want the child to act. The basic foundation of
who a person will become is laid out during this time of self asserting the identity of the emerging adult from who the compliant child was Is a normal part of identity formation. The taking of personality, genetic, nature and nurture behavior and personality.
A child's change in emerging identity is seen as mutiny to the Adoptive parent. The changes are not welcome as the way the parent and child interact has taken a long time of molding. The self asserting adolescent is sent to therapy, put on psychotropic drugs and put in to psychiatry hospitals. The statistics of foster and adopted children on psychotropic drugs is disturbing, as these drugs damage the forming brain, behavior and the future brain's demise. The drugging of children is cruel, controlling and domination at it's worst, yet social service organizations have the legal right to subdue these kids. Requesting a court hearing from your social worker and get emancipated! 

Relativistic thinking

Compared to children, adolescents are more likely to question others' assertions, and less likely to accept facts as absolute truths. Through experience outside the family circle, they learn that rules they were taught as absolute are in fact relativistic. They begin to differentiate between rules instituted out of common sense—not touching a hot stove—and those that are based on culturally-relative standards (codes of etiquette, not dating until a certain age), a delineation that younger children do not make. This can lead to a period of questioning authority in all domains