About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Adoptive Mother Is A Window Between The Adoptee, Family And Outside World


Adoptive Mother Is the Window Between Adoptee, Family and Outside World.

The adoptive mother uses domination over the adoptive child to dominate him, controlling his relationships with friends, siblings and extended family as the unnecessary mediator. Providing interference, informational distortion and intentionally creating dramatic conflicts between family members. Yet being the unassuming overbearing parent "Just trying to help", When in fact the narcissist always helps themselves over anyone else.
To have a parent with narcissistic personality disorder creates a jeopardizing struggle for a normal biological child's development into adulthood. The risks for negative attributes and outcomes are doubled with the intrusion of an outsider in the family. The stress and coping skills take a toll on siblings in early childhood.
The biological children will come to resent the adopted child as time proves to the siblings that the parents behaviors have changed dramatically. The children begin to grow a hatred for the outside child's disruption of the family. The spouse husband is also seeing changes irritability, arguments, higher stress level around and about the children. The mother is not being honest about her big and obvious mistake. Refusal to acknowledge the facts of the let down, the post adoption depression or the miss match by the adoption agency of child to parent. The denial that any problem exists perpetuates, grows resentment and the intentional forced acceptance of a bad situation hurts everyone and all relationships in the family will suffer.
The Adoptee is not welcomed to grow relationships outside of mothers view and authority.
In childhood the Adoptee will live in constant confusion of
moving goal posts, rules that apply when she uses them, and
the brutal destruction of adoptee's identity to save him from himself. She has the control of all things in her world and the
Adopted child belongs to her forever in submission of her.
The Adopted Mother creates the "window" of misery, meddling
and interference. This window is like a ticket booth, that the adoptee communicates "Through the Mother" to her extended family (grandparents, sisters, brothers, cousins) and friends.
The misconception that the parent's friends are the children's friends is not true. Except where the child has self grown an independent relationship with that person. For parents who assume there are cohesive relationships with their family and children are living in denial. Sure the children are subordinate
and polite but a friendship has not developed over time on their own personal terms. The Mother who is constantly on the phone with her "support Circle" Is gossiping about her children and people in her life, out loud where children can hear her. The mother sees no problem with her behavior, believing it is normal and harmless. The child who has spent his life hearing mother gossip about his every detail is enraging and the constant violating of his trust causes him to distrust his mother.
The mother's deceptive gossip about her child, grows resentment, hatred and great division of the parent-child relationship. In adolescence that what is normal assertiveness,
is met with face slapping, parent control and serious attacks on the child's emerging independence. The Adoptee is forever
a child in the adoptive parent perception, and mentally incapable of growing into productive adult. This principle is strengthened by the attacks on the independence, bargaining and making deals to trap the adoptee who has no tools or skills to escape with the adolescent independence in emerging adulthood. The adoptive mother will utilize the necessary narcissistic power
to dominate and control the forever child until the young adult has the courage and conviction to escape the control without the strings attached.

Adoption Laws Reinforce the Protection of America's Greed

ADOPTEE RAGE!   Protecting America's Greed

Behind Every Financial Opportunity Is Exploitation's Loss
Behind the publicly acceptable child purchase, is a family
who's child is not dead but gone. The life of the owned
child is not necessarily his own.

In the land of American Opportunism, Laws are created
to protect the exploiter from libel reconciliation.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Permanent Disconnection of Adult Adoptees


The Permanent Psychological Disconnection of Adoptees

Throughout Childhood the adoptee behaves accordingly
to his unknown circumstances, autonomic responses.
The adoption dance of the adoptive Mother's behavior
gives the child the basic foundation of his ownership.
Although the parent does not realize the seriousness,
or the consequences of the parent child relationship ques.
While the infant Adoptee seems unaware of it's surroundings
, behaviors and attitudes of his caregivers, the Adoptee is a sponge taking in all things said and unsaid within hearing
and sight range. The selfish and gossip filled discussions about the child's origins and less than positive aspirations in front of
the unassuming child are herd loud and clear. The negative voice tones, avoidance and truthful parent perceptions are sadly forming this fragile trust in early relationships.  When a parent doubts themselves, their abilities and parenting an outsider's child. When the parent's main focus is on themselves and how the public views them. The need to be perceived as superior and publicly acceptable image by the peer group proves later in life to cause injury to the nurturing child's Identity, self worth and independence of the Adoptee.

"The selfless parent" who is not in need or want public personal  attention, status and public recognition of parenting their child.
The selfless parent is offended at rewards for parenting, as this is a natural process motivated by the love a mother for her offspring. She wants her child to live in the comfort of her own
nurturing, and encourages the child's exploration of the world.
This child will only feel love for the parents constant vigilance
reflected in the child's self comfort and well being. These children
do not question the parent's honesty or motivation, as the sky is the limit of what they can accomplish in the world. The child is able to make friends and have open honest discussions with the parents without fear or objections. Friends and lovers are safe ans open topic for sharing in normal parent relationships, due to the fact that the child has been raised with a sense of self worth
and great value as an independent person.

Adoptees are not often enough in the situation that nurtures
and promotes individual and unique self identity. We are the
left-overs in a society that profits off the indiscretions of selfish men, and women. Adoptees are the problem that society created by selling children with parents. The psychological
aftermath of being sold is a life long struggle to compensate,
with great failure rates. The lucky adoptees are those thrown into psychotherapy for causing problems unlike the cohesive family. The identified patients (Adoptees) are the complete problem within the family. These Adoptees sometimes get good assistance in the understanding of what this paradox of adoption
is. For younger Adoptees to receive therapy early in life, they
will begin to understand the factual aspects in Adoption History,
Adoption Science and Adoption Education. The advantage for this population is the ability to form their own opinions of the Adoption.,Understand their particular family's dysfunctions.
And take the first step to begin the Identity process without outside opinion. The help from a good therapist will provide so many needed things absent in the Adoptee's family, parenting and the assistance to allow themselves to grow independently.
Psychology provides hope to Adoptees, and the nurturing they did not receive in childhood. The outside opinion is one that can be trusted by the Adoptee. Not all therapists are right for every person, so Adoptees may go through many before finding one that fits your personality or values, beliefs, It does matter to fit.

Adoptees learn through survival. To wear the mask that entertains, not the face of truth. To speak the words that
the mother wants to hear, Not the truth from within you.
To see what they say has happen, Not the situations truth.
This is how we survived, living lives of denial and being forced
to promote the family's lies. There comes a time when we can no longer live like this, and it is disturbing us down to our soul.
We are sick of living the lie and lying to promote the denial of
others. This time is to some an Apiffany of the true self. Where
we will risk all connections to our unsatisfied life to change it.
This is the coming of age for Adoptees who can't go on.

Monday, July 22, 2013

"The Adoptee Is Never Better Off"


 Adoptee Reunion Search Observations:

Everyone an Adoptee knows and who is not an Adoptee, will inject their polluting opinions, despite the facts.

Remember that having a child changes people in dramatic ways.
To judge the sad and pathetic aftermath of aging people who were denied their children and parenting their children will have dramatic effects on their lives.
Others simply can not say that you were better off because your elderly biological parents are derelicts, alcoholics, creepy and undesirable. I would be in the same situation if I lost my children to death or adoption; The opportunities to evolve by having children shapes our lives, causes growth and selfishness is lost through the selfless sacrifices to benefit the child.
If given the opportunity to raise their own children, the negative old age outcomes would be quite different.
Regarding my Native American heritage, my aunt says "all Indians beat their children and you were better off" this generalization is extremely wrong and self serving prejudice. You can not generalize an entire population to justify your own guilt. The fact of statistical white population's domestic violence records show that white families are more likely to beat their kids, she is white and her sister is my birth mother.
   At reunion, birth-parent's current state, life and circumstances  have been dramatically altered from the loss of their child early
in their life. To say you were better off, is the selfish denial of the serious emotional trauma suffered by the bio-parent and the Adoptee, except the adoptee faces far more emotional stress, destruction and void.
  To say you were better off is saying you can give your children away without being effected. If someone took my child, I would not want to live or outlive, which is common horrifying scenario to most parents.
The worst reality for Adoptee's is that no one understands the depth to our suffering, questioning and reasoning except other Adoptees. Birth and bio relatives do not understand and most don't waste any effort on the subject to avoid feeling guilt.
The Adoptee's Reality of not belonging expands with reunion, although necessary for independent identity growth and growing self awareness.
After my reunions, stressful Interference of adoptive parents, considerable time to digest all the information, I have come to the realization that I do not belong here or there. It seems to me that I could be in a room full of my people and emotionally feel completely alone. This is my truth in life, from the circumstances of my adoption.

Religious Abuse of Adopted Children


The Religious Abuse of Adopted Children
American Adopted Children are not only indoctrinated into foreign and false family culture, the religious extremism is the
family who believes the Christian bible as absolute. These same American culture concerns other religious extremism as fanatical and dangerous to the world population. However all religions that segregate the chosen few are a dividing factor of world peace.
The basic Christian beliefs and judgment of all others outside
the church is the foundation in hypocrisy to adopting parents of unmarried offspring. The child not conceived in a marriage bed
is the perpetual bastard of the church. For most adoptive parents who pick and choose what aspects of religion to utilize
in the benefit, and what to ignore in their lives. Although nothing about the actual religion is learned or passed down in a form of applicable understandably to the adoptee child. The parent is never honest or truthful in conveying the personal religious truth to the young. The parent uses all leverage to control the non biological child who is a foreign liability to the family. As from the beginning the adopted child is not blood and
will not submit to the same type of domination of the bio child.
The non biological child is an alien to an adopting family., The adopted child does not read the new parents unsaid, gesture and attitudes, as their biological children also possess and know.
The adoptive parents believe the child is inferior in genes and development, And the adopted child will be treated as an inferior
and perpetual inability to survive in the world without constant parental intervention and assistance. The actual creation of a population of Special Needs individuals who were capable but
through adoptive parenting maltreatment are mentally defect.
The religious indoctrination of vulnerable young children into living lives filled with spiritual fear, set up to fail and eternal punishment. While the adopting parents have absolutely no respect for the culture, religion and philosophy of the child's family or tribal affiliation, They will attempt to erase forever the culture from the child's life. The Child will now become what the adoptive parents vision of a "special",more suitable and respectable form of religious belief in the comfort zone of the adopting parents. To take any and all individuality from the adopted child and strip him of his culture and humanity. To provide the blank slate child for a parent to create their own
reality is an unfortunate denial that the child existed as a person and an individual before the adoption. It is commonly presumed that adopting babies provides these blank slates. This is the furthest from the truth, as babies remember their existence and their mothers prior to relinquishment and adoption. To assume the blank slate and live a life in denial and indoctrination will only serve to divide the parent and adoptee at age of majority and beyond.
As an adopted child, I remember the adoptive parents fighting about going to church on Sunday morning. Dad falling asleep in church would enrage mother, The fight would resume after church. The hateful things the minister would say about people was not right in my heart, I went from church to new religion searching but never finding truth or philosophy within the white culture of religion. I found only cruelty, division and hypocrisy, never did I find solace. Until one day I went to a Pow Wow, and
from the minute I arrived it felt like I was home. It turns out that I am a 16 generation SC & NC Cherokee. The real clues about who we are come from what you can and can not stand,
the core of your being is absolute.

(Cited Wikipedia.org/Child Abuse/Religious Abuse/)
Religiously based psychological abuse of children is a growing area of interest in the psychological and sociological community. It can take the form of using teachings to subjugate children through fear, or imposing heavy indoctrination such that the child is taught only the beliefs and/or points of view of their particular sect (or even just that of their caregivers) and all other perspectives are stifled or kept from them. The beliefs are taught as absolute truth, with no way of ever questioning them. 
Psychologist Jill Mytton describes this as crushing the child's chance to form a personal morality and belief system, making them utterly reliant on their religious system and/or parents. They never learn to critically reflect on information they receive. Similarly, the use of fear and a judgmental environment (such as the concept of Hell) to control the child can be traumatic.

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