About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Friday, June 28, 2013

Adoptive Parents Strange Behavior at the birth of grandchild


Understanding the Jealousy of Adoptee's Fertility

Adoptive mothers, becomming grandmothers display strange
behavior at the birth and with adoptees who give birth to
grandchildren.  The expectant adoptee has no interior skills
or experience to deal with the impending birth. The adoptee
will rely on their primal protective fear to care for the new baby. The pregnancy is filled with fears of someone stealing her baby as she was stolen and sold to adoption.  The primal fear and protective urges are her basic skill that she will rely on to raise her infant.
The adoptee wanting her adoptive mother in the delivery is bitter sweet, as she has to constantly remind the mother to calm down and stop squeezing her arm numb.
The laboring adoptee asserts control of the room, throwing out unnecessary personnel in protective domination of her comfort zone. Because the focus in the hospital is on the adoptee, and not on the adoptee's mother, she can assert control and does out of fear, which is in direct conflict with the adoptee-adoptive mother relationship. The adoptive mother is in her own world
and the adoptee keeps reminding the adoptive mother to be calm. The thoughts about the mother's behavior will be
pondered again and again in the coming weeks. After the baby is born the adoptive mother will go home to nurse her old wounds of infertility or stillbirth. The arrival home will bring normal in regard to the babies schedule. The adoptive mom will arrive at the door with more formula and diapers then leave....What?
The adoptive parent's participation or witness to the simple, natural and easy birth will overwhelm her psyche with pain, jealousy and bad memories. At the time I did not understand why the adoptive mother stayed far away, now I am beginning to understand the adoptive parent psychological dynamics and
suffering. She was a great grandmother, just not so great at the nurturing of an adoptive child. There is a grand difference.