About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Friday, May 31, 2013

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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Adoptee Life Beginning in Dysfunctional Family


Adoptee Life Beginning In Dysfunctional Family
The stereotypic Adoptive Mother.
Adults without children and Adults without functional
fertility are combined here due to similar problematic
dilemma. The mental states of both the career driven
Women lacking natural childbearing drive. And the women
with bearing the social and private burden of being labeled
barren.  The fear, disappointment and lack of fertility control
over time develop symptoms of mental distress. The career
women is set in her ways is in control of every aspect of her life.
The introduction of a non-biological child into her environment
will bring great distress and she will lose tight control of her lifestyle. This is a direct conflict of personality, lifestyle and
talking out loud that causes action.
The new mental anguish is created on top of existing mental stress. These forces should not join as two storms merging onto
land, the path of destruction is predictable. Is this the warm
fuzzy, soft-spoken, baking and sewing lady. We Adoptees imagine such a kind and pleasant mother we wish to know is our own. The reality of emotionally stressed and mentally ill adoptive mothers is our truths. 
Dysfunctional Family (Wikipedia.org)

Common features [edit]

Near universal [edit]

Some features are common to most dysfunctional families:
  • Lack of empathy, understanding, and sensitivity towards certain family members, while expressing extreme empathy towards one or more members (or even pets) who have real or perceived "special needs". In other words, one family member continuously receives far more than he or she deserves, while another is marginalized.
  • Denial (refusal to acknowledge abusive behavior, possibly believing that the situation is normal or even beneficial; also known as the "elephant in the room.")
  • Inadequate or missing boundaries for self (e.g. tolerating inappropriate treatment from others, failing to express what is acceptable and unacceptable treatment, tolerance of physical, emotional or sexual abuse.)
  • Disrespect of others' boundaries (e.g. physical contact that other person dislikes; breaking important promises without just cause; purposefully violating a boundary another person has expressed)
  • Extremes in conflict (either too much fighting or insufficient peaceful arguing between family members)
  • Unequal or unfair treatment of one or more family members due to their birth order, gender, age, family role (mother, etc.), abilities, racecaste, etc. (may include frequent appeasement of one member at the expense of others, or an uneven enforcement of rules)

Non universal [edit]

Though not universal among dysfunctional families, and by no means exclusive to them, the following features are typical of dysfunctional families:
  • Abnormally high levels of jealousy or other controlling behaviors
  • Conflict influenced by marital status:
    • Between separated or divorced parents, usually related to, or arising from their breakup
    • Conflict between parents who remain married, often for the "perceived" sake of the children, but whose separation or divorce would in fact remove a detrimental influence on those children (must be evaluated on a case-by-case basis, as a breakup may harm children)
    • Parents who wish to divorce, but cannot due to financial, societal (including religious), or legal reasons
  • Children afraid to talk (within or outside the family) about what is happening at home, or are otherwise fearful of their parents
  • Abnormal sexual behavior such as adulterypromiscuity, or incest
  • Lack of time spent together, especially in recreational activities and social events ("We never do anything as a family")
  • Family members (including children) who disown each other, or refuse to be seen together in public (either unilaterally or bilaterally)
  • Specific examples [edit]

    In many cases, the following would cause a family to be dysfunctional:
    • Families with older parents or immigrant parents who cannot cope with changing times or a different culture
    • A parent of the same sex never intercedes in father–daughter/mother–son relations on behalf of the child
    • Children who have no contact with the extended family of their mother or father due to disharmony, disagreement,prejudicefeuding, etc.
    • Going beyond mere disagreement, an intense schism between family members regarding religion or ideology(e.g. a family member encouraging or having an abortion while others object on religious grounds)

Unhealthy parenting signs [edit]

List of unhealthy parenting signs which could lead to a family becoming dysfunctional:[5]
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Ridicule[6]
  • Conditional love[6]
  • Disrespect;[6] especially contempt
  • Emotional intolerance (family members not allowed to express the "wrong" emotions)[6]
  • Social dysfunction or isolation[6] (for example, parents unwilling to reach out to other families—especially those with children of the same gender and approximate age, or do nothing to help their "friendless" child)
  • Stifled speech (children not allowed to dissent or question authority)[6]
  • Denial of an "inner life" (children are not allowed to develop their own value systems)[6]
  • Being under- or over-protective
  • Apathy "I don't care!"
  • Belittling "You can't do anything right!"
  • Shame "Shame on you!"
  • Bitterness (regardless of what is said, using a bitter tone of voice)
  • Hypocrisy "Do as I say, not as I do"
  • Unforgiving "Saying sorry doesn't help anything!"
  • Judgmental statements or demonization "You are a liar!"
  • Either no or excessive criticism (experts say 80–90% praise, and 10–20% constructive criticism is the most healthy

  • Giving "mixed messages" by having a dual system of values (i.e. one set for the outside world, another when in private, or teaching divergent values to each child)
  • The absentee parent (seldom available for their child due to work overload, alcohol/drug abuse, gambling or other addictions)
  • Unfulfilled projects, activities, and promises affecting children "We'll do it later"
  • Giving to one child what rightly belongs to another
  • Gender prejudice (treats one gender of children fairly; the other unfairly)
  • Discussion and exposure to sexuality: either too much, too soon or too little, too late
  • Faulty discipline (i.e. punishment by "surprise") based more on emotions or family politics than established rules
  • Having an unpredictable emotional state due to substance abusepersonality disorder(s), or stress
  • Parents always (or never) take their children's side when others report acts of misbehavior, or teachers report problems at school
  • Scapegoating (knowingly or recklessly blaming one child for the misdeeds of another)
  • "Tunnel vision" diagnosis of children's problems (for example, a parent may think their child is either lazy or haslearning disabilities after he falls behind in school despite recent absence due to illness)
  • Older siblings given either no or excessive authority over younger siblings with respect to their age difference and level of maturity
  • Frequent withholding of consent ("blessing") for culturally common, lawful, and age-appropriate activities a child wants to take part in
  • The "know-it-all" (has no need to obtain child's side of the story when accusing, or listen to child's opinions on matters which greatly impact them)
  • Regularly forcing children to attend activities for which they are extremely over- or under-qualified (e.g. using a preschool to babysit a typical nine-year-old boy, taking a young child to poker games, etc.)
  • Either being a miser ("scrooge") in totality or selectively allowing children's needs to go unmet (e.g. father will not buy a 



When The "Adoption Machine" Moved Against Biological Family


2002 Adoption Legislation Moves Against Biological Family
See Wikipedia.org/adoption-safe-families-Act

Major Provisions


  • Requires that States Move to Terminate Parental Rights for Children Who have been in Foster Care for 15 out of the last 22 Months.
  • *(Even court sanctioned restraining order against parents) 
  • Requires that Permanency Hearings be Held Every 12 Months
  • *(Opposite Wording)
  • Clarifies Cases in Which States are Not Required to Reunite Families (Any Aggravated Circumstances)
  • Expands Family Preservation and Support Services
  • *(For New Adoptive Family Protection)
  • Extends Subsidies for Adoptive Children
  • **(Makes Children Exploitable Commodity of the County)
  • Provides Incentives for States to Improve Adoption Rates
  • **(Streamlined Adoptions to Initiate Financial Incentives)
  • Requires States to Document Efforts to Move Children Toward Adoption **(Away from Family)
  • Expands Health Care Coverage for Adoptive Children
  • *(Medical and Welfare Payments to Gardians)
  • Provides Funding for Efforts at Encouraging Adoption
  • **(Adoption Corruption Financial Worth & Exploitation)
  • Clarifies that Interstate Boundaries Should Not Delay Adoption **(Moving Children Without Problem)

This 2002 Adoption and Safe (Adoptive) Families Act,
Is where the child became a U.S. commodity.
Adoption attorneys saw this new application an easy 
way to bipass previous lower adoption standards, complicated regulations and formal legal child protection guidelines. The Act
backfired on it's purpose intentions and began the International Adoption feeding frenzy by streamlined process now easily manipulated law.What was intended to boost adoption rates and lower foster child financial burdens on state and county governments.

Understanding the Personal Impact of Emotional Violation


Understanding the Personal Impact of Emotional Violations 

To be emotionally violated by your adoptive family is a common reality of Adoptees. 
The most difficult to process is the actual malice, hate and loathing from my adoptive parents. In an unrelated and non stressful setting, my sudden realization registered in my brain...Three red cherries and the jackpot of hate was filling and spilling all over in my mind. Am I just stupid or in denial at all the signs, Horrible words, the adoptive parents hatred of me had been growing for many years, and I now wonder if there was ever a time of cohesiveness during my ownership., In the childhood innocence and ignorance was there ever a time when they thought of me as their child and not the financial liability responsibility of my existing. In the aftermath of my association, Looking at all of the cruelty, shame and indignant facts., I give myself the gift of being/allowing myself to accept that I am a valid person who did not deserve mistreatment. I did not provide
a great enough adopted child experience to the adoptive parents., As I was always trembling in fear or crying which interfered with the good times of the parents. I was fired from my first childhood job, not meeting the expectations of the dead female child that I replaced. 
 is still hard.
in words, facial expressions, body language

The adoptive parents have made legal, mental and personal promises that can't be kept., The mental  stress phase before and during the child adoption process.

Monday, May 27, 2013


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Friday, May 24, 2013

Considering the Lives of Transnational Adoptees by GKramer

Considering the lives of transnational adoptees

 As my research on transnational/transracial adoption from South Korea explains (see Reframing Transracial Adoption), “the better life in America” assumptions commonly articulated by non-adopted people rightly infuriate many adult adoptees. Many of the adoptees I spoke with helped me to understand their reality of navigating the imposition of gratitude that surrounds being “rescued” from a nation often implied as inferior.  While it is true that Russian adoptions into white U.S. families are often pursued as a way to avoid the racial component of adoption, questions of belonging, origins, and abandonment are nearly universal to all state-regulated adoptions.
Reframing Transracial Adoptionsm Not only do we have a lot to learn from adult adoptee perspectives, but critically observing the rise and fall of massive adoption projects, such as Korean-American adoption (the first and longest-running form of transnational adoption) should allow nation-states to learn from one another’s mistakes. Korea went from being the world’s top “supplier” of children for adoption in the mid-1980s to a “sending nation” that is, at least to some degree, more conscious of the meaning and impact of that history. This change happened through internal and external criticism, and most notably, in recent years through the dedicated reform work of the Korean adoption. While there may be heartache for families with their minds set on a particular child to “bring home,” I feel abundantly confident that criticism and worldwide scrutiny of transnational adoption serves us all. If nothing else, dramatic legislative actions such as the adoption ban should help us to fine tune our understanding of the relationship between family and the state. Perhaps it will make us ask us what the state has done for our family lately. Or what the role of the state should be in helping us form families. I suspect most of us would like to think of the state as an afterthought. It’s there when we need it otherwise we prefer to keep it out of our family matters. Yet for folks fighting like hell to have the state validate their most intimate, loving partnership as legitimate and legal, the family-state question becomes more vivid. Similarly, for those of us unfortunate enough to find ourselves facing the threat of losing our family members, acquiring them, or reuniting with them based on the intervening policies of a state (including policies of the child welfare system, the police force or the prison system) the power struggle can get ugly.
ees who have returned to Kore When it comes to your family or your government, who do you expect to win the power struggle? And in the case of transnational adoption, adopters’ vision for family must interface with the power and politics of two nations.  When the fate of our families becomes heavily determined by the “personalities” of two competitive capitalist nation-states (with many skeletons in both closets) both posturing as the top contender in human rights protections, we can only expect a stampede of contradictions to complicate our attempts at creating family intimacy.
My ethnographic research on adoptive families has led me to a position much like the one being voiced by Russia’s Children’s Rights Ombudsman, Pavel Astakhov. Astakhov has stated candidly at human rights hearings on adoption that the “hysterical warnings” about international adoptions being the best viable solution for Russian children only s
 The fact of the matter is, as much as we hate to admit it, transnational adoption is a marketplace driven by and reflective of capitalist modes of production. The desires of white Americans and Europeans (predominantly) are the buyers in that marketplace interested in “giving” a better life to a child of their choice. Race does play a big role in which adoption programs adopters choose. Given this fact alone, transnational adoption offers us a chance to follow the advice of philosopher George Yancy as he urges us to shift our gaze (in Look, a White!) to assess the ways of white folks rather than simply accepting them as the way things ought to be done. 
Look a Whitesm
My book explores the actions of white adopters in Korea’s history with transnational adoption. But more importantly it highlights the work of the Korean adoptees who have critically observed adoptive family life in the U.S. as well as the politics of race, culture and statehood surrounding their adoptions. Although Korea has provided more children for overseas adoption than any other place in the world since 1955, Korea has dramatically reduced child reserves those seeking profit from adoption,to help keep more Korean children in Korea.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

My Experience in Hypnotic Regression


My Experience in Hypnotic Regression

I went to this amazing event intending to view my past life.
Unintended I re-experienced my formation, cellular division, fetal growth, birth and relinquishment.

Group Hypnosis of Psychic Regression where many people
assemble to be taken back in time. Time travel for the human's
soul is not as difficult as thought. The hypnosis is done in a general, Non-individualized verbal presentation. The teacher guides the group in a generic way not focused on the sought after result. The subject group experiences the hypnosis in an
individual and personal reflection. The topic of the class was to experience past lives through hypnosis. The teacher brought the group into hypnosis through gentle guiding of us down the steps
to the library of the human soul, where our personal guide greets us and takes us to our soul's record book. The dust covered pages of the ancient manuscript would open to where we could best benefit in our present life and current spiritual search quest. In this group of thirty individuals, how I somehow stood out in the middle of the psychological exercise astounds me. After the class was over, I was asked to speak with the teacher.  She was very interested in my experience, commenting that she had never seen a body contorting and morphing like a fetus.  She went on to say that the sobbing, crying and complete emotional collapse under such a light hypnosis was unusual. I was still in shock and trying to process the terrible and emotional drain of I had seen and experienced.
I was a fetus growing inside the mother who hated and detested me. I was not wanted and I don't know why she did not get an abortion. She hated my presence and wished me dead. I saw
during hypnosis my birth and emergence into the world of the living, to be taken away from her and placed in a hospital crib.
I was born feeling and knowing that I was not wanted and lacking the bond of maternity. I was born into hate and loathing.

Friday, May 17, 2013

The Rebellion begins at Separation


The Rebellion Beginning at Separation

The Adoptee at maturity, will enter the enlightenment phase.
Yet the underlying festering anger in forced assimilation becomes dominant personality trait., It is kept under wraps,
kept quiet as it grows, deep within the psyche of the Adoptee.  
Many Adoptee's are not aware of why they are angry., Not being able to normally express emotions. The learned "forced agreeable attitude" and behavior is a common abnormal personality trait that adoptee's use to comply and live without constant yelling and punishments by adoptive parents. The
suppression of emotions causes Adoptee's to experience depression, when not being able to normally express emotions.
It is here where society chooses to drug children to get the result the parent desires. Not addressing the real and valid problems that adopted children face, parents drug them into virtual submission. The statistics of adopted children who are systematically drugged is disturbing (a topic for another page).  
and medically modified children grow into adults with severe chemical imbalances due to selfish parental drugging by doctors.

The Adoptee's subliminal attack on the forced assimilation will eventually jump out and be known.
The act of removing a human baby from their maternal environment is against the laws of nature. To remove a child from the mother and child unity and give that child to a more
acceptable, wealthier, more deserving person is both physically and morally wrong.
The act of forceful disturbance of a child's environment, Forcefully taking a child away from the child's connection to that environment and forceful assimilation of environment Imitation.  
perversion of truth.
As Small children are innocent and trusting,
The unsuspecting Adoptee carries with them the basic mistrust
that is created through experience, this learned behavior was imprinted upon them during the time of separation from the biological mother. Then perpetuated by the substitute parent as the infant protesting and submitting to defeat due to hunger and need. The infant grows into the awareness of truth and submits to the dual Identity paradox. The child becomes aware that they have two identities, and is forced to live the false identity in public. The psychological implications of lying in public sets a double standard and is a great cause for confusion to the Adoptee. The lying to please the adoptive family becomes transferred into self loathing. Hating one's self for living a lie
strikes at the basic concepts of identity and is a challenge to mental and psychological growth. These problems are further exasperated by adoptive parents who are not in the mindset of
supportive to self sufficiency. Parents who adopt to "forever own my baby" are the population of which Adoptee's rebel against.
Adoptive Narcissistic parents only see the child as an object that they possess and own, the child is like jewelry to accent the adoptive mother's beauty and how she is viewed by her peers and community. Only the best of impressions in the public eye,
but in private the home is more like a dungeon with a tyrant ruler. Inject religion into this sinking ship and you have a recipe for anger, resentment and loathing at the adoptive parent's good and moral reality.
The misconception that a baby is without memory, a child will not remember their own childhood is a falsehood and only wishful thinking on the part of the self serving adoptive parent.
Childhood is memorable, especially the mother child bond that takes place at birth. This bond and memory is responsible for the baby's rejection of the impostor adoptive mother.
The adoptive parent's psychological assault from being rejected
from a newborn child is overwhelming. The adoptive parent who
is self centered will in turn reject the rejecting child as a form of punishing the baby, which becomes a perpetual cycle of damage.
35% of domestic adoptions are terminated, annulled and reversed each year in the U.S.. The percentage of adoption failures that go unreported must equal the reported in mathematical formula logic would be 35% equaling 70% of adoption failure. The estimation of adoption cohesion 30%.
30 families out of 100 work out, but at age 18 (the Age of
Majority) the compliant adoptee has the legal right to search for their biological parents and biological parents can legally find their stolen children. The estimate statistics for  successful adoptions, adoptions that go on uncontested or terminated
prior to age of majority, compared to the 82 year average lifespan when people can and do legally modify the adoption decree by termination.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Ignorance of Social Stigma Followers


Social Stigma is Responsible for Adoptee's Plight

Many adoptee's were born under the iron fist of an
ignorant culture who feared, followed and worried
about "What other people think about them". This
common shallow and lacking way that most of
society's women conduct themselves and family.
These women are directly responsible for the
perpetuation and damage caused by stigma centered
gossip and behavior. The self proclaimed women purposely identify themselves as Christians, setting preconceived
notion that they're morality is significantly higher than
their peers. Uneducated, vain, and self centered persons
believe they are superior of other uneducated selfish women.
In this predictable behavior women
become victims of their own cruel standards and gossip.
the social stigma of pregnancy out of wedlock.
The dominating group setting the cultural norms of a
particular group is based the group's ignorance, fear
and the desire to be the same. Conflict of behavior as
the same group desires to be better than the neighbor,
having a better car, wife., Having a superior house in                 a track home neighborhood, these people fight their way
out of paper bags! The competition among them is a
hypocrisy. The women compete with one another in church
and in elementary school parking lots.
"Keeping up with the _______" is a lame translation
although fits the mentality of these cookie cutter lives.

Social stigma is the extreme disapproval of (or discontent with) a person on socially characteristic grounds that are perceived, and serve to distinguish them, from other members of a society. Stigma may then be affixed to such a person, by the greater society, who differs from their cultural norms.

The irony of the pregnancy out of wedlock stigma, is that
the women was still labeled damaged and the topic of gossip even though she cooperated and gave her child away to appease the community. This Ignorant and cruel community 
of people, is in every community.

Read Full Article at Wikipedia.org/social_stigma
The Stigmatised:
 The stigmatized are ostracized, devalued, rejected, scorned and shunned. They experience discrimination, insults, attacks and are even murdered. Those who perceive themselves to be members of a stigmatized group, whether it is obvious to those around them or not, often experience psychological distress and many view themselves contemptuously.
Although the experience of being stigmatized may take a toll on self-esteem, academic achievement, and other outcomes, many people with stigmatized attributes have high self-esteem, perform at high levels, are happy and appear to be quite resilient to their negative experiences.
The Stigmatizer:
From the perspective of the stigmatizer, stigmatization involves dehumanization, threat, aversion and sometimes the depersonalization of others into stereotypic caricatures. Stigmatizing others can serve several functions for an individual, including self-esteem enhancement, control enhancement, and anxiety buffering, through downward-comparison—comparing oneself to less fortunate others can increase one's own subjective sense of well-being and therefore boost one's self-esteem. 

Link and Phelan stigmatization model 

Bruce Link and Jo Phelan propose that stigma exists when four specific components converge:

  1. Individuals differentiate and label human variations.
  2. Prevailing cultural beliefs tie those labeled to adverse attributes.
  3. Labeled individuals are placed in distinguished groups that serve to establish a sense of disconnection between "us" and "them".
  4. Labeled individuals experience "status loss and discrimination" that leads to unequal circumstances.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Gender Based Parenting and expectation Failure, "Every Mistake a Parent Makes is permanently recorded in and on their children"


How Gender Based Indoctrination and Expectation Failure

In the U.S. Gender based parenting is practiced and is the cultural norm. This NORM is both discriminating, cruel and damaging to the psyche of the child, future adult and parent.
Parents expect a masculine boy or a feminine girl to emerge
out of childhood. Although many gender variations exist and
the possible outcomes are many.

The paradox of the parents behavior and the expectations for
the specific two stereotypes of masculine-boy or feminine-girl
to emerge without effects of the parent actions, lifestyles or conduct during a child's formative years.
In the year 2013, The parent is still in denial of their own behavior and how that behavior impacts the baby through
six year old child. U.S. Parents are not held responsible for,and deny liability of their own behaviors that negatively impact the children.
"Every mistake a parent makes, is permanently recorded on and in their children".
The common reality of American parents is the intentionally forgotten memory and denial of any supporting factual evidence that their adult children present.
When a parent can not admit the truth of their behavior, and deny responsibility for their conduct during the formative years of a childhood. The child of an emotional and physically abusive parent are the most forgiving of them. So what is the advantage to denying responsibility to the victim and witness of the childhood injustice? The continued silence continues to injure and damage the core psyche of the now adult child. The only way to promote healing is to acknowledge the injustice, admit fault and negligent behavior of the parent. To admit you were wrong in circumstances during the childhood will begin the cycle of reconciliation, acknowledgment and forgiveness.

Monday, May 6, 2013

To Be or Not to Be...UnGrateful

ADOPTEE RAGE  ....More Ramblings From An Unstable Mind.

To Be...or Not to Be UnGrateful......

Children are the future and we must use exhaustive intentions to protect their forming childhood years. Not sell them as objects in disreputable industry. Children in this country
should be given legal protections and rights for their survival. There is no great in child abuse, Nor gratitude in mental anguish, Only survival to those who have this inner drive to outlive their abusers.

Why is this question forced on children who
have been bought and sold as objects for a
person's amusement? The adopted child never asked to be taken from their parent,
and usually under duress and disreputable practices by adoption personnel. We are told that adoptees should be grateful, Is a convict ever grateful to go to prison? Natural born children are not asked about their family gratitude. The topic of obligation and Indebtedness should be applied then adopted children can become indentured servants as money is the domination factor in our legal system.

Adoptive parents can return children for any reason, especially
when they become ill. When my children became ill I never thought about surrendering them to social services because of
unforeseen illness and financial obligation arising from illness.
This Adoption legal loop is not practical, ethical or moral but it is legal and happens frequently in California.

The Adoption laws are written to give the
parent an out for whatever reason., The
adopting parent holds all the legal cards, but the fact that they
are attempting to assimilate else's child into their vision is sick.
...And will fail. Adoptee's get nothing out of being sold, we are guaranteed only the possibility of mental problems from the streamline process of adoption imposed upon us in childhood.
Not all adoptions are bad, for the orphaned child it may be ideal.

The current U.S. 2012 statistics of adoption failure by adoptive parents filing court paperwork is 25%-35% (childsworld.gov).
Failure to bond, and other applicable language designed to meet the public adopter's legal needs for terminating parent child relationship. Annulment, set aside, termination, nullify, and private congressional bill are all to favor the whims of the adopting public and the five billion annually adoption industry.
The U.S. feeding frenzy for foreign babies is a disturbing reality.
The U.S. Does not recognize constitutional rights of children, to the benefit of the adoption industry secured by lobby actions.

What about the human rights of a child? The U.S. denies them in support of the child consumer economy., Lobby's with the Republican Party, Mucous on the Family, and Catholic Charity League are seriously opposed to rights of the child.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Searching for Real Parents Begins Early

ADOPTEE RAGE!                The Child's Search

Searching for Real Parents Begins Early and is subliminal. In a crowded room, market or stadium, Adoptees search for people that resemble ourselves, as we believe In the chance meeting.
Adoptees come across things that anger, shock and humiliate us
Revealing our true nature in dealing with the paradox of being an adopted child. Things rarely reveal our truth to others, as we learn and master the art of acting. We become virtual towers of stone that no one can penetrate or destroy our strong exterior.  We are taught to lie about who we are and at some point the lies stack up to become the exterior of our stone towers. If we let one "stone or lie" be revealed, the entire base of our defence of lies could come crashing down to reveal a dual personality.To most people and adoptees, to be dishonorable is to lie as lies are inherently wrong in human psyche. By expecting adoptees to lie about who they are is a dishonor to the self. Most adoptees would prefer to be the illegitimate bastard with a truthful name. If our real parents were such bad people, who would want their
equally bad offspring? The biological parent is not the monster that the adoptive parent makes them out to be. They were young and in most cases fully taken advantage of and used by people who were unscrupulous. The wealthy and money hungry are the evil people who can buy and steal other peoples children. Who believe that buying a child will solve their problems with greed, But in buying a child the innocence of childhood only lasts eight to ten years and less for some.
We adoptees are not evil people, we were deceived by evil people, adoption agencys and evil adoptive parents.
 We are our biological parents child and that will never change no matter who purchases or owns us, it is a temporary state.

I found a newspaper clipping announcing to the town and county that I am "ADOPTED". The horror I felt. Everyone knows my shame of being a bastard. Everyone knows that I do not belong here, and that I have been thrown away by my mother. They all know I was born out of wedlock and that I am an Illegitimate child.
The whole town knows that I am defective and a problem child.

As a small child home alone much of the time, I would rummage through the boxes of of papers in the closet to find a clue to where my mother was. Later when I could read I would search the same my birth certificate. To locate some kind of clue to where my real parents were. When I stumbled across a newspaper clipping, an announcement from the local paper about my adoptive parents profound act of compassion in adopting a homeless orphan. I was horrified! at six years old
I felt extreme humiliation as I read the clipping. I thought
to myself that everyone knows my shame., My filthy secret
is common knowledge and laughable to the extent of the problem child's problems.
Quite younger, I remember the daily walk out to the main road
where I would sit each morning and wait for "MOM" to come.
When I could hear a car in the distance coming up the road, I would stand up, in anticipation. I had to be ready to leave when she stops, as I did not want her to go to the house.No one will know or care when I leave with my mom. I would think to myself maybe she is supposed to come tomorrow,and sadly walk the long driveway back to the sleeping house.
Several times I was sent to stay with adoptive parent's friends in
Orange county, In a tract neighborhood. I would go door to door
asking if my mother might live there? On the third morning a women grabbed me by the arm and walked me back to the sitter's house. She told my babysitter what I have been doing for the last three days, I was in big trouble. She called my parents to come get me, and when my adoptive mother arrived
I was beaten. Adoptive mother made me tell adoptive father the
horrible thing I did to get kicked out of the babysitter's home.
Then I was punished again. At local babysitter homes I would do the same thing, go door to door asking if my real mother was at home. Then some housewife would walk me back and tell on me.
My mother would be called and I would be punished. The routine was predictable, No one ever talked to me about why I did this, or try to make sense of my behavior, Just hit me and then ignore me. When I was older, I began reading phone books, looking for some clue as to who I was,  who are my parents and where are my parents. Everywhere I went with my adoptive parents was an opportunity to find my mother. From bars, cocktail lounges, racetracks, casinos, fancy restaurants, gambling venues like Las Vegas,Nevada. She could be there I thought, So I would keep looking for someone who looked like me. Turns out she was 35 miles away in the next town. I found her and my father with the "Non-Identifying-Information" provided by the court, the adoption registry, and land, phone,
census and tax records. The women on the registry had the info in 24 hours of my inquiry.

The Magical Moments of Daughter Meeting Father


The Magic Synonym Moments When Daughter Meets Father

Adoptees move through life like an oval instead of a wheel.
We learn to tune out as much a possible, and what we can't
tune out we intoxicate. Adoptees are alien to their assigned
environment, where no continuity can exist. 
I never understood the depths of discord and maltreatment
that I endured daily until I reunited with my own kind. For the
first time in my life I experienced unconditional love, and it is
consistent, dependable, It can never be taken away from me,
and it will continue after one of us dies. The biological link between
myself and my father for an Adoptee the similarities astound
me. We look alike, have the same gestures, figures of speech 
and mannerisms.  California to North Carolina residing on opposite
ends of the country, we manage to purchase identical things.
Hair brush, type of cranberry juice, wearing the same brand,style
and color pants, sweat shirts, towels, soap, toothpaste, bakery
goods, Ordering the same type, thickness and color scrunchy.
We both carry around pen, paper to write things throughout the
day. Type of shampoo, conditioner, razors.....it is so crazy true! 
The images he collects are exact down to type of books we read.
It seems similar to identical twins interact. My dad has the same
excited embrace of the morning, and the anticipation of what the
day might bring. I am starting to understand how I would be 
without all of the scar tissue, without living in fear everyday.
I have made great progress in building self esteem and re-crafting
my distorted identity One beautiful thing my father always reminds
me that the best years to come are going to be great. I am so
fortunate to have met and known my grandmother almost two years
before she died. In her photo albums I am her as a young girl and
women. Our likeness is so identical it is shocking to me. Other relatives
have commented that I am a younger version of her. To have these
connections in my life I am so fortunate to be healing, my 43 year
 absence from my family has caused them great pain. They have been
waiting for me all of my life, The injustice will heal eventually. 
I am one of the lucky adoptees who found her connections to this world. 

The Perpetual Child The Adoptee Never Grows UP


The Adoptee is a perpetual child, Never seen as an adult.

When parents are considering child adoption, there are many personal reasons. Most of the parent reasoning is to promote their self Interest, indulgence and narcissistic self promotion.
None of these selfish reasoning justifies adoption placement,  but money buys the influence of adoption social workers....

The adopting parent is essentially purchasing the childhood years of a person. Studies from the past sixty years has proven
the paradox of adoption, that ends in reunion. Unfortunately for the adoptee, the psychological, medical and identity damage can not be reversed. The adoptee does not benefit from the adoption transaction.

The adoptive parent
can only reflect on the baby, toddler and growing years.
The time frame of the innocent child. When the child was unaware of the dynamics and concepts of adoption. This the when the child was free from the stress and realities that adoptees begin to comprehend the extent of their problems adolescence. They begin to realize what has happen to them,
but lack the tools, financial ability and maturity to deal with.
They try to divert themselves with disruptive and dangerous behavior  instead of dealing with the problem of their identity.
The adoptive parent expects certain answers to questions that
keep the wound of adoption open and festering. The adoptive parents will not discuss this, and to push the issue will threaten
the adoptee's current living arrangements. The adoption paradox is not open for discussion to the adoptee.

Religious Abuse of Children, Parent's Intentionally Force Fear on Innocent Children


Religious Based Child Abuse: The Parent's Intentional Force of
                                           Fear on an innocent children.

The injurious damage by ignorant parents never goes away. Parents that can't think for themselves, follow others blindly. These compliant U.S. citizens are concerned by the opinions of others. The Participation and amusement in local gossip is used
to modify and manipulate opinion, viewpoint and exclude others.
The general self serving desire of inclusion within the local group can promote behavior that is opposite of the religion being used.
 The social group is generally made up of mothers in competition within a church. Concerned with what other people are doing at the avoidance of scrutiny.  These parents Believe and follow horrifying religious stories told to them by equally ignorant parent. Just following the norm is not longer acceptable, and deviation from the bible. Religious stories do scare the young.
The trauma to an innocent child, when parents choose their child live in fear, misery and dysfunction as they live in fear and force the plague of religion on to the children.

Raising Children Without Religion.
I feel that religion is a personal perspective developed as one grows into adulthood and personally begins this particular religious search. I wanted my children not corrupted by fear,
and to remember and enjoy the innocence of childhood.
On two occasions, my adoptive parents forced religious fear on their grandchildren, against my authority as the mother.
Which caused serious damage to their innocence and in this
breech of grand-parenthood, Immediate intervention was necessary to restore them from injury. #1 The 3 year old comes home from grandma's talking about the DEBIL...I was so angry with mother, I called her and told her that the religion stops now, or the kids can't go with her.
My innocent child's fear was now evoked by a malicious grandmother, who did this because I asked her specifically not to. Not to religiously indoctrinate or corrupt her mind with religious fear, as she had done to me. This was the only real ground rule I asked my adoptive parents to avoid. In looking back, the only time I voiced a serious opinion and explained my reasons, consequences of fear on my children. They deliberately
defied my request. I am forever an adopted child and not capable of knowing what I am saying. When I set a boundary
with my parents, With intentional force they stomp over that boundary. Like teenage bullies, they say "How dare you" tell us
what we can and can't do! You are lucky we still put up with you...The ungrateful adopted daughter! The next time is done with great force and malice by the adoptive parents proving the
dominance over me and my problem of valuing my children.
I was disowned for the third time by my adoptive parents,  the month prior to my child's hospitalization.
#2 In the hospital my child was recovering and my parents smuggled their pastor in the back door to pray over my child in her hospital bed, to pray for her life. When I got up to throw the pastor out my father blocked the door in vicious anger at me.
This selfish, cruel and disrespectful act forced on my child by my adoptive parents was unforgivable. Since my child had never been indoctrinated, the child now thought she was going to die. I had an immediate meeting with the nursing staff, they knew what to do to combat these religious ideas to restore the child's peace of mind with loving and caring nurses using science to heal her body. The adoptive parents have only contempt for me and the boundaries I set to protect myself and children.

Parents use religion to reduce a child's sense of self reliance.
The parent's Intentional intimidation of an innocent child is not only cruel but devious behavior. The forcing of evil supernatural
beings on a small child is a sick form of domination. Parent's who choose to force this horrible fear of things unseen will seriously
confuse and derange a happy exploration of a child's behavior.


Religiously based psychological abuse of children is a growing area of interest in the psychological and sociological community. It can take the form of using teachings to subjugate children through fear, or imposing heavy indoctrination such that the child is taught only the beliefs and/or points of view of their particular sect (or even just that of their caregivers) and all other perspectives are stifled or kept from them. The beliefs are taught as absolute truth, with no way of ever questioning them. Psychologist Jill Mytton describes this as crushing the child's chance to form a personal morality and belief system, making them utterly reliant on their religious system and/or parents. They never learn to critically reflect on information they receive. Similarly, the use of fear and a judgmental environment (such as the concept of Hell) to control the child can be traumatic.[4]

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Child Abuse of the Young


Parent Responsibility of  Child Abuse

Child neglect, often overlooked, is the most common form of child maltreatment.[1] Most perpetrators ofchild abuse and neglect are the parents themselves. A total of 79.4% of the perpetrators of abused and neglected children are the parents of the victims, and of those 79.4% parents, 61% exclusively neglect their children.[2] The physical, emotional, and cognitive developmental impacts from child neglect in early childhood can be detrimental as the effects from the neglect can carry on into adulthood.

Attachment and Avoidance of Intimate Relationships


A developing child requires proper nutrition, protection, and regulation for healthy attachment. About 80% of neglected children display attachment disorder symptoms and eventually form insecure attachments to their caregivers as a result of caregivers' unresponsive interactions.[5] This disturbed attachment to their primary caregiver alters future relationships with peers by becoming emotional and physically isolated from others reducing the likelihood of forming emotional connections.[6] Moreover, as a result of their past maltreatment, neglected children feel that forming intimate relationships with others loses their control in life and exposes them by increasing their vulnerability.[7]

Emotional Deregulation

Neglected children demonstrate lack of emotional regulation, understanding emotional expressions by others, and difficulty in distinguishing emotions.[8] When posed with problem-solving tasks, neglected children reacted with anger and frustration, and were less enthusiastic with completing a new task.[9]Neglected children often have distressing memories of their past to which they regulate their emotions by suppressing them.[7]

Psychiatric Development

Childhood abuse and neglect can lead to developing posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, andanxiety disorders later in life.[10][11] Although major depression is not readily seen in younger children compared to adolescents, it is still prevalent.[12]


Cognitive and Academic Development

Neuroimaging studies using magnetic resonance imaging have shown that the brain structure of a neglected child is significantly altered. The overall cerebral volume of the brain of a neglected child is significantly diminished, with a reduced midsagittal area of the corpus callosum, and the ventricular system is enlarged thereby resulting in decreased cognitive growth, development, and functioning.[13][14] Further studies show that neglected children have poor cerebral hemisphere integration and underdevelopment of theorbitofrontal cortex region which affects the child’s social skills.[15]
Studies on academic progress in neglected children have indicated that these children may experience a drop in their academic performance. Children who have experienced neglect are more likely to have attention deficits and poorer academic achievements.[16] Further, neglect in early childhood can result in a rise in stress levels in the child.[10] Elevated stress levels from neglect can lead to a release of higher levels of cortisol causing damage to the hippocampus which can affects a child’s learning and memory.[17]
A study examining the motor, language, and cognitive development of neglected children showed that the scores from the Bayley Scales of Infant Development were significantly lower than non-maltreated children.[9] Neglected children displayed poor self-control and a lack of creativity in solving problem.[9]Standardized tests become a challenge for neglected children as they perform poorly on intellectual functioning and academic achievement.[9] Further, neglected children perform significantly poorer on IQ tests than non-maltreated children.[18]