About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

The Joke of Talking About Adoption

Adoptee Rage

Talking About Adoption

Talking about adoption is like an seeing an acquaintance who asks you "how are you?" The expectation is to say "fine".
To publicly deviate from this agreeable dialog is considered
rude and too much personal information given to a stranger
might signify the need to respond from a person who is just being polite and adhering to the social norms of society.

The adopted child and adoptive parent dynamic is an entirely
different paradox of expectation necessity of submissive speech. accepted predictable physical behavior of the adoptee.

The "Telling" and talking about adoption is sugar coated
with lies. The unspoken expectation of adoption children
to remain silent and act gracious to their adoptive parents
or they will endure the consequences of the wrath of an angry
rejected parent. Adoptee's are groomed early in their role as
an adopted child. Due to the fact that adopted children are not natural to the family environment, fictional adaptations are made to compensate the forced reality. In the tradition of permanently changing a child's name, the shaping of a new child out of an unwanted one. The customization of a child to meet the expectations of the parent and fit the new position created in a new family structure.
The adopted child is programmed to respond specifically to their trained commands. A mother expects her child to give her the appreciation and respect she deserves from her personal sacrifice of taking in the child and it's charitable role in to home and life. The social awareness that an upstanding citizen chooses to go beyond the normal charitable donation of time and money. The church member that dedicates more time and far more effort  than her neighbor's contributions. The adoptive mother is deserving of public recognition, awards and respect for dedicated long term service to her community. The child learns early which responses produce favorable results and speech that renders punishment. This particular venue of responding to a parent's questions is simple cause and effect and is black and white from a child's point of view. Adopted children are not encouraged to explore their environment in the way naturally born children are regarded. Adopted children are acquired to fill a position and the position is pre conceived by the adoptive parent. The adoptive parent does not raise the child to become independent. The
adopted child is a perpetual child in the eyes of the adoptive parent. The adoptee's purpose to the parent does not beyond childhood. The psychological perspective of the adoptive parent is sadly the perpetual child, and is forever seen as a the "baby I wanted".
 The loss of the small impressionable child, the young adult was not anticipated and the independence that accompanies adolescence distorts and diminishes the adoptive parent's charitable award winning status, which was long ago forgotten.

 When adoptee's reach adolescence, the point in life where a child naturally develops their personal identity, self awareness.
The adoptive parents will predictably react negatively to the dissenting behavior. The personal Identity is in direct conflict to
all the training by the adoptive parent. This identity threatens
the adoptive parent and is reflective of sinister contempt of a submissive child.
Adoptive parents view the growing independence in their child as dangerous evolving change that may destroy the master servant relationship of adopted child ownership.