I am routinely asked about my biological family; the most common reply I hear is in regard to "Closure"......Closure of What? What is going to close?....It is not five o'clock yet. What exactly am I closing? How do we go from "Vitally Important Personally Identifying Information" (I have waited all my life to find information) to the responding word "closure".
This phrase is invalidating to myself, my life-long struggle with having no identity, and the lack of tools and knowledge to learn how to properly identify and deal with the problems associated with adopted children. Adoptees are expected to ignore and avoid such situations., Do not talk about it, Don't bring up the subject, not to be self-centered, selfish children. Be silent 'Be seen and not herd' and 'Speak when spoken to', Do not interrupt or annoy the adults.
I have not had the choice or opportunity to discuss being abandoned, sold or adopted in the first place. Now they want to shut me down before I have had time to process all of this information, not to mention the unmentionable
'Feelings' that should accompany the biological discovery. Through this dialogue I have come to despise the word Closure. It is like a catch-phrase
people are programmed to say, when they do not want to really hear what I am saying. People are programmed to be polite, like asking someone
"How are You" when they do not care.
In our culture to be a liar to someone's face is considered to be polite. Commonly saying things
that people want to hear, although not truthful.
This disturbing behavior this is just a bad habit to act like you care when clearly we don't. To give the illusion of being polite liars.